Two Ghosts - Ruel Van Dijk (Completed)

Chapter 13 - Please

I stared at this boy in front of me, so gentle, so lilted, so unreal. I admired the way he played his guitar so effortlessly, almost as if he had been born to play. I admired his voice, his perfect voice, and the way it rasped to make it sound so mellifluous. And the lyrics he sung, like a tragic love story put to words.

You don't have to love me
just don't find somebody who treats you the same.

He sung each word with such emotion, emotion that had been absent before. I could feel the pain quivering in his voice, like the burden was weighing him down.

He loved this girl. But she broke him. She ripped out his heart and stomped on it.

I wanted to cry. I wanted to hurt this girl. I wanted to make her feel pain. Because Ruel, Ruel was sitting here, miserable and broken, only just showing a flicker of emotion, because he had pushed it away until he was just numb. He was so hurt that he couldn't even deal with the emotion. And I hated seeing it. I hated her. I wanted to make her feel the pain she had caused him.

I wanted to hug him. I wanted him to know that he could cry around me, that he could ramble on about how much he hated this girl, he could lay on my shoulder and tell me how hurt he was. But I couldn't, I couldn't. I knew if I did, he would get scared. He would be scared that I would hurt him. He trusted me. I knew that. But not that much yet. Not enough that he felt he could talk to me. Not yet.

I watched as he finished playing the song and looked up at me; his eyes beginning to swim with worry. He stood up off the bed, chucking the guitar. He started to run his hands through his hair frantically, clearly panicking. I could feel the worry radiating off of him. I had to calm him down, but how? He'd never done this before, and I'd barely spoken to him. How was I supposed to calm him down?

"Ruel I-" I started, trying to get him to calm himself down, but he interrupted me.

"You have to leave," he said, surprisingly calmly for his current state. He looked me dead in the eyes, the panic he was in clearly showing through. He was not joking around.

But I didn't want to leave him. He was clearly not in the state to be alone. And I didn't know him, he could do something to himself. I couldn't just leave him here to panic alone.

"Ruel, please," I pleaded desperately, standing up to meet him. I saw guilt flash through his eyes. "Did I do something? I'm sorry if I-" I began to ramble, nervous and insecure of myself.

"No, Sunday. You need to leave," he said sternly, starting to scare me. But I stood my ground, I could not leave him here alone. "Please," he whispered, his voice and face softening. His eyes suddenly looked innocent and gentle again. Fuck. He knew I had to listen to him when he was like that. He knew what he was fucking doing.

So I obeyed. Without another word, I turned around and walked straight out the door. Not going to lie, I felt hurt. Sure, I wasn't expecting him to just immediately tell me every single thing about his life, but I didn't expect that he would just shove me away this immediately. I guess that's what Coco meant about him mentally fucking me up.

*

I had been sitting in my room all afternoon, overthinking what had happened earlier that day. Why did he panic? Was it my fault? Did I make him uncomfortable? I shouldn't have stayed in his room when he asked. He was pushing his own boundaries and I should've known we were going too fast. This was all my fault.

That was all that was running through my head the whole afternoon. It's your fault. It's your fault. It's your fault.

I buried my head in my knees, groaning. I was so tired of this constant overthinking. I needed an escape. I needed to think of something other than Ruel. I had to do something. Something to get him out of my head.

So I did the only thing I could think to do at that moment. Read. Drown myself in another world. I picked up a random book, not bothering to read the title of it. But when I opened it, all it made me think of was Ruel.

The studio was filled with the rich odour of roses, and when the light summer wind stirred amidst the trees of the garden, there came through the open door the heavy scent of the lilac, or the more delicate perfume of the pink-flowering thorn.

I turned it over to see it was The Picture of Dorian Gray.

But not just any copy. It was his copy. How did it get in my room? I didn't know, I did not care. I just stopped reading, pressed the book to my chest, and let my tears patter softly on the bed.

A/N
idk. idk. This chapter was hella short, I apologise, I am drained of ideas.

GO VOTE RUEL FOR BEST AUSTRALIAN ARTIST FOR MTV EMA PLEASE AND THANK YOU

As always have a lovely day
remember to nourish yourself with food and water
and do something that makes you happy!

love ya besties,
- Grape 🍇

22/10/21

Quote of the day:

Some things are more precious because they don't last long.

- Oscar Wilde

Word Count: 956