Two Ghosts - Ruel Van Dijk (Completed)

Chapter 23 - Tears

I woke up feeling a mess. I still had that throbbing headache from the night before, and my eyes were nearly glued shut. I peeled my eyes open, and to my surprise I was in my room, my boring-ass room, in my boring-ass bed. I rolled over to hop out of bed, groaning in the process. I heaved myself onto my weak legs, and dragged myself out of my room and into the kitchen.

I hadn't looked in the mirror at all, but I just knew my hair was bound to be a mess and makeup was stained on my skin. I looked around to see Sylvie. No Coco, just Sylvie. Sylvie sitting at the dining table, looking just about as tired as I was.

Her crystal blue eyes flicked onto mine and a weak smile spread across her face.

"What happened last night?" I groaned, walking to the sink to get a glass of water.

"It's kind of a long story," she sighed, her smile disappearing. "You might want to sit down."

I did so, grabbing my water and taking a chair across from her. She looked at me with sympathy. I had no idea what I had done last night. But it didn't seem like it was going to be admirable.

"So you remember we gave you the drink right?" she asked, to which I nodded. That was one of the few things I did remember. "Well, we lost you in the crowd just after that. We were looking for you for like 45 minutes, maybe an hour, when Coco got a call from Ruel," she faltered, worry painting her face. "We went to the bathrooms, where Coco picked up and put it on speaker so I could hear as well. Ruel was scared." she said sternly, making me shiver. Ruel was scared. Why? "He started spitting words at the phone, neither of us had any idea what he was even saying at first. But he told us that you called him drunk, and when he came to pick you up, he found you lying unconscious on the concrete."

Guilt washed over me. Ruel was scared, because of me. Because I was stupid. Because I drank too much.

"Is...Is he okay now?" I asked, knowing I probably wouldn't get a direct answer. This was Ruel.

"I don't know," she responded quietly. "He's been in his room."

Shit. He was back to drowning himself in books. Back to the beginning. Back to shutting everyone out.

"You really scared him Sunday," she looked at her feet. "If something happened to you, he would have never forgiven himself."

I had to see him. I had to tell him it was okay. I knew where he was going to be. I got up without warning, yelling a goodbye to a very confused Sylvie. I ran out of the house and down the bitchermen of the road. I ran up into the house, running straight through the open front door. I didn't know if Kate and Ralph were home and saw me randomly bolting into their house. I didn't care. I just had to see Ruel. I didn't exactly know why. I just had to.

I stopped running when I got to the top of the staircase. Panting as quietly as I could, I turned to handle to Ruel's room, to be met with the familiarity of his bedroom. Papers scattering the floor, as usual. I shifted my gaze to the bed, where Ruel was eerily sitting, back facing me, seemingly just staring at the wall. I didn't want to say anything to him. I wanted him to find out that I was here himself.

But when he turned around, when his hazel eyes flicked onto mine, I began to wish that I hadn't come at all. His eyes were green now, but not with gentleness, with fury. He still looked angry. He had looked as if someone had burned anger into him. But I couldn't help but notice how they were shining with dreary. He was sad?

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry," I mumbled, looking at my feet. It was pathetic. It was utterly pathetic. But I didn't know how else to say it than to say it as it is. I looked up after a few seconds, only to realise he was now standing directly in front of me. Like, extremely close. So close his breath was spreading gently across my face, almost overwhelming me with the smell of peppermint. What scared me was that the fury was still in his eyes, burning into mine like a wildfire. I felt my cheeks flush a bright pink as I stumbled back, trying to get some distance between us. But I was only met with the wood of the door.

Fuck.

Ruel gingerly strode forward, leaving us with even less of a gap than before. I pressed my arms into the door, trying to calm myself down, but I was an absolute mess. My cheeks were undoubtedly still flushed a bright red, my hair still bed-head style, the makeup from the previous night still staining my face. But Ruel didn't seem to care. He just inched closer to me, his hair hanging over his eyes lazily as his gaze burned into me.

"You are so fucking lucky you're pretty," he said lowly, the rasp in his voice making me shiver for like the fifth time today. He thought I was pretty? I moved my eyes to his hand, which was now gently tipping my chin up, forcing my gaze on him.

Here I was again. Tangled up in Ruel Van Dijk. I was lost in him. Completely lost in his beauty, his scent, his fury, his sweetness. All of it. Just like we had been the week before, except this time, his anger was building tension in the air. It felt more intense this time. The sweetness of that week was seemingly evanescent.

I'm not going to lie, I was nervous. I'd never seen him this angry before. I didn't know what he would do. I had to calm him down. I took his spare hand in mine, intertwining my fingers with his. I gave it a gentle squeeze. I watched as his usual gentleness returned to his face. It all seemed to soften. His eyes relaxed, the angry glimmer disappearing.

And then there were tears. I watched as his eyes began to gloss over, and he attempted to blink them away, but failed. Before any tears could even fall, I let go of his hand and wrapped my arms gently around his torso. And I just held him there, listening to his breathing that was disrupted by his small sobs. He wrapped his arms back around me, resting his head on top of mine. His tears were getting lost in my hair, but at this point, I couldn't have cared.

"Fuck," he attempted to sigh, but it escaped as a strangled whimper. And now I wanted to cry, because I was the one who created this beautiful mess of a boy. And I wanted to help him, but I still didn't know how to. He was so sad, and I was so lost. 

"I'm so sorry" is all I managed. I had no idea what to say or how to react to this. He didn't say it was okay, but I didn't mind. I knew he couldn't. Because it wasn't okay. He wasn't okay.

A/N

I don't really have much to say about this other than ok. And that it was inspired by flowers in the window. But thats not even a surprise anymore...n e ways, bye!

Have a fabulous day, treat yourself with kindness, and be AMAZING!

- Bri (Grape) <3

8/11/21

Word Count: 1271