Two Ghosts - Ruel Van Dijk (Completed)

Chapter 20 - Daisy Kisses

TW this chapter briefly mentions self harm!

"I have scars too," I said quietly, feeling it was necessary to share this with Ruel after I had seen his scars. My scars weren't from self harm, but from surgeries. I was a sick kid. I had really bad stomach issues throughout my childhood, and the doctors could never really figure out what was causing them. They were so bad that at one point I was so sick I couldn't eat, so they had to feed me through a G-tube. So that meant countless tests, surgeries and scars from those surgeries. It was a terrifying experience for a 7-year-old child. Now my whole stomach was covered in large scars. But they weren't cute little pink scars like the ones Ruel had on his wrists, they were huge and strange colours I didn't even know scars could be. They were always one of my biggest insecurities, so while every other girl my age was in bikinis at the beach, I was always in a basic one-piece. "Would you like to see?" I asked, a tiny bit nervous. I wanted him to know I trusted him, and that he wasn't alone. And showing him my biggest insecurity would be a good way to display that. 

I watched his rosy face look at me with pure curiosity. His eyes flickered around my body, as if he were asking where exactly they were. I took that as a yes, I assumed he just didn't really want to say 'Yes Sunday! I would absolutely love to see your scars!'. And so I stood up, so they weren't hidden amongst my stomach rolls (yes we are talking about stomach rolls, everyone has them, they are completely normal and should be celebrated), and lifted up my hoodie just enough to show the mess of scars my skin displayed. 

I tried not to watch his eyes as they examined the marks on my skin, but curiosity got the best of me. He wasn't looking at them shamefully, more so lovingly. His eyes were touched with adoration. I blinked a few times, making sure I'd read them right. Yes, it was adoration buried in his eyes. I flinched as he reached out a hand, hovering so close to my skin I could almost feel the warmth of it already. His eyes flicked from my scars to my eyes, as if to ask for permission. I nodded, letting him run his gentle fingers over my skin. He was so delicate, so gentle. I felt warm. I felt safe. His hands were velvet warm, despite the cold. He ran his fingers over each of the scars individually, tracing them smoothly. It was almost as if he was trying to memorise the shape of each scar. Once he had finished, he took his hand off of me slowly, shifting his gaze back up to my eyes. I dropped the hoodie back over my stomach, hiding the scars again.

And then he was in front of me, standing before me with his junoesque figure. I stared up at his undoubtedly cold face, admiring it the way I had before. We just stood there, silently watching, seemingly waiting for something to happen.

"You're beautiful," he whispered gently, making me shiver. It took me a minute to process what he had just said. Ruel had just called me beautiful. But before I could ponder on that for two long, he brushed a piece of my messy hair behind my ear. But he didn't drop his hand after that. He traced his hand slowly down my jawline, the cold metal of his rings taking me by surprise. He stopped at my chin, but still didn't remove his hand. I moved my eyes from his hand to his face, which looked focused on me. His eyes on me, his cheeks still a rosy red, his quivering red lips parted slightly.

And then, before I could think, before I could feel, he was kissing me. His lips were on mine. His blush pink lips I had admired so many times before were tracing mine. He kissed me gently, his lips moving slowly, making the heat in my cheeks rise. His hand was still on my chin, his other hand sliding to gently grip the other side of my face. I moved my hand to his face, admiring the way his skin felt on my skin. I pushed my pointer finger over his ear, getting it loosely tangled in his hair. I felt him smile sweetly against my lips, the feeling making me bubble with joy. I was tangled up in him. Because his hair, the hair that was usually hanging over his eyes, was hanging over my eyes and tickling my cheek. And that sweet scent of flowers and fresh sheets he owned, was all over me. It might sound weird, but the gentleness and delicacy of the way he was kissing me reminded me of a flower. It felt like I was running through a field, getting tickled by the daisy petals. 

But then, I wasn't. 

I was alone. My arms empty, my mouth cold, a memory of the lips that were once on mine. I flashed open my eyes, looking around for Ruel. Was I dreaming? Did this really happen? But alas, I spotted him about a metre away from me, frantically running his hands through his hair. 

"Ruel?" I almost whimpered, watching his terrified eyes flash towards me. He looked scared, worried, as I watched his eyes fill with tears. 

"No," he shook his head, looking away from me. "I can't. Not again."

I felt my own eyes start to well as I watched him start to speedily walk away from me. I waited until I was sure he had left the house before melting to the floor, letting my tears take control of me. I didn't say anything to him. I had to understand. No matter how much it hurt. No matter how much it shattered my heart. I had to understand he was broken. 

But his touch had left a burn on me. I couldn't forget what he had felt like on my skin.

A/N

ok ok i am a little happy about this chapter. thank you to flowers in the window, five feet apart and paper walls for the inspo(:

please remember to take care of yourself! You deserve to give yourself the love you give to others(:

- Bri (Grape) <333

Quote of the day:

How you love yourself is how you teach others to love you. 

- Rupi Kaur

Word Count: 1100