How do you start from scratch again? I'm not like Dumbledore's bird, if I turn to ash, I can't easily wake up. I've told myself a hundred times that I'm an emotionally strong person. But I was wrong.
I wasn't, and that's something I should be.
I'm messing up things again. I'm so tired of going through the same problem. I was told that I have to renew my mind. But that's something hard to do.
Because no matter how many times you say positive and true things to yourself, everything still turns out bad or not according to what you expected. And it's something that is a very big deal to me. Because it's true from what I've heard, the more disappointments you receive, the more you distrust yourself. And I think that's what happened to me. I think the only advice that I could fathom is, "face it." But those two words are a facade, and behind them, you need a lot of courage and braveness. Otherwise, you'd be lying on your bed; overthinking about it, diverting your attention to something else, just avoiding it.
And the big problem is, I don't have the courage and the braveness. My soul is at its deepest level and this is always been part of my fear. To be idle, to lose hope, to lose faith, to lose energy, and to lose passion.
How do you start from scratch again? Should I stand up and do it all over again? What if I will commit the same mistake? What if I, after how many times of doing this, I'll finally give up? My life? My purpose? My vision? How can I bring back the fire? How can I bring back the life in my eyes and my heart?
Lord, help me.
