Help Me ~ c.d

0.4

| cameron |

As laughter fills the house from the whole family I realize something, nash and I have bonded more than ever over everything we've been through. And I can't wait for tour.

I suddenly hear the door to Nash's room and look to see who came in, expecting one of the boys. I'm greeted with a different site. Alia stands in a large crew neck and some black leggings. Her hair is sloppily formed into a bun. She lets out a cough.

"Hey babe." I say, concern filling my voice. "You feeling okay?" I ask. She shakes her head and walks closer to us. I gesture for her to sit on my lap and she hides her face from the camera.

"I'll cut this out don't worry." Nash says and she removed her face from my chest. I place the backside of my hand against her forehead to reveal a high temperature.

"Oh my gosh, you're burning up. Let's get you to bed." I say and scoop her up bridal style. I tell nash I'll be right back before taking Alia to our room and laying her in the bed under a light knit blanket her mother had made as a gift. She coughs again, loudly.

"I wanna go out." She whines. I shake my head and turn off all the lights in my room letting the only light leak in from between the shades on our window.

"You're sick. Maybe another time." I say. "I'm sorry." I kiss her forehead and quietly leave. As I slowly close the door I hear a small croak.

"I love you." Her small voice says and I return the sentence before leaving.

~*~*~

- 4:00 am-

As I sit on the balcony of our apartment with a mug in my hands and my laptop in front of me I realize how much things have changed. The sounds of the streets brow are enough to calm anyone but add in a bit of rain and you could almost fall asleep. But I don't sleep much anymore. Not with my insomnia. So I've begun searching for a new house. We planned to move and I want to move so we should begin to look. After all, we do deserve a fresh start. I bookmark the house I'm looking at as an option and then shut down the laptop and stare out into the city below, that's being washed in rain.

I've never been much of a coffee fan and honestly the stuff disgusts me but so does tea. And so I stare at my mug filled with hot chocolate to keep me awake. I sigh, standing up, and lean forward against the railing of the balcony and stare out below. What a city LA is. I want to stay here when we move. I also wish to travel though. I long for the tour to come. Less than a month of course and when we come back, hopefully we'll have a new home.

I also don't want to tour. I want to travel the world with nash and alia. I want to explore and go on night adventures. I want to forget the rest of the world and forget the Internet and Youtube and enjoy the world around me. But this is my job. Making these videos and short vines and making people smile is how I get payed. I want to act. I want to model. I want to travel. I wish I didn't always have to be so messed up in the head because if I wasn't then life would be easier. There is one thing I don't regret thinking though.

The day I ran into Alia at a Starbucks I clearly remember feeling like she was the one. And I am so glad I thought that. Now she's mine. I plan on keeping her. I plan on helping her. I want her to help me too, though. I've changed so much. The fans seem to always be commenting on how I never sleep and I have dark circles under my eyes that are big enough to call me a raccoon. They comment on how sad I've been. I hate that they get upset over me. I wish I could change. I want to be happy. I want to get sleep. How can I? Even when I sleep curled up next to my only comfort it's not enough. She isn't enough if I'm filled with thoughts like I am tonight. I long for this to change. I want things to change! Following that thought that must've been spoken out loud is Nash's morning voice.

"And change it will."

--------------

a/n: okayyyy cameron is different

I hope I'm not the only one to be in love with this story right now yayayayayayayayay

So I may or may not be asking out my crush soon yikes

Hmu on snapchat btw katie.bbyers

Okayyy I love you guys

Ily byeee