Stris Scenes - Season 5 Continuations

Except That I Am - Post 5x04

"I would never ask you to compromise yourself at work but I can't keep doing...whatever this is."

Chris froze and fixed her eyes on the counter top in front of her, panic and fear swirling up her spine and ringing in her ears.

"I can't". He walked away, leaving her pinned to the floor in the same spot. Her nostrils flared as she tried to calm down.

He could hear that she still hadn't left, even through his grief. But he just laid on the bed, empty.

The thing she hated most was that he was right, it couldn't go on like this. All they were doing was hurting each other. But the alternative, not having any kind of relationship, was too painful to consider. Underneath her pride and reluctance to fully let him in was fear and she realised that was what was stopping her. Just like Street had said when they last spoke. Fear that she would be hurt, and that this time it would be her best friend who hurt her. Or, worse, her best friend that she would end up hurting.

It was what was stopping her just letting him ask her out, letting him move to another team, letting her brain actually figure out a solution to their situation. She exhaled sharply as she finally understood her own actions over the past few weeks.

Chris sighed and finally unfroze. She walked to his door softly. "Umm... Street?" she asked quietly. "...Jim?", she said even more quietly. "Can I come in?". She waited to hear how he would react. She heard the smallest "hmph" through the door and opened it slowly.

He was laid on his side on the bed, on top of the covers. His face looked so broken, pale, sad. She slowly walked over to the other side of the bed and tentatively perched on it with her legs facing away from him.

"I, umm...". She didn't really know where to start, how to make things better, but she couldn't just leave him. Maybe she had being unfair coming here tonight with things the way they were between them, but she knew better than anyone how he was feeling. She sighed. Her thoughts were still a mess.

"I'm sorry if ... me coming here made things worse for you. I just ...", she rubbed her forehead, inhaled and continued. "I care about you. The idea of you being here sad... And with my mom...I thought..." Even she knew this speech wasn't going well. He just remained on his side, motionless. She wasn't sure he was even listening to this ramble anymore. She sighed quietly again.

"Street, you're not alone. I need you to understand that, remember that." She heard him sniff.

"Except that I am", he replied. "Nate, you, my mom. There's no one".

Her brow furrowed and concern and confusion flashed across her face. She swung her legs up onto the bed so she was now facing his back. "You didn't lose me, Street. I feel the same way as I did before. I'm just...scared. Terrified really. But Street, I'm serious", her tone changed to be more firm, wanting him to understand. "We might all only be a chosen family but we're more of a family than most of the people we see out there. Even Luca, the crazy uncle", she tried to make her point. She heard him exhale. Not loud enough to be a chuckle but maybe somewhere in that region. The silence grew for a few seconds before she concluded. "I will figure something out, for us", she said resolutely.

He still didn't say anything, or shift in his position, but it felt like his hostility had made way for sadness now. She put her hand on his shoulder and rubbed her thumb softly. He brought his hand up to rest on hers. She gently lifted it to her face and kissed it sweetly, before letting it fall on the bed in front of him. She sunk down and rolled onto her side, mirroring his shape.

Street felt her small, warm frame press gently up against his back and he started to believe that it would be ok. He sunk into his sadness and tears started to come, not violent tears, just quiet, sad tears slipping out of his eyes. He let them come. Chris reached with her top arm and held his chest. He let his hand come up to meet hers and held it while he let the grief roll through him. After a while they both fell asleep, finally peaceful.

*****

A few hours later Chris woke up and carefully peeled herself away from Street, quietly leaving the room and closing the door softly behind her. He looked at peace now.

She heard keys jangle and Luca opened the front door to find her stood in the corridor.

"Oh hey Chris. What's up?", he asked quizzically. "Oh, Street? He ok?", he realised where she was coming from.

She raised her eyebrows and pursed her lips. "Not really. He's asleep now though".

"Ah man I had no idea. I wouldn't have gone out if I knew he needed a friend", Luca replied.

"No I think he needed some space. I just came to check on him and ended up falling asleep. I think it took a while for it to hit him. He was talking about having no one..."

"What? That's crazy. He's like a brother to me. A younger annoying brother", he joked. "We'll always have his back".

Chris smiled, "I know. He knows we're here for him, but he's used to dealing with everything on his own, you know." She tugged at the sleeve of her red cardigan. "I'm gonna head out. Can you keep an eye on him?"

"You got it", Luca replied.

Chris closed the door behind her and took a deep breath of the cool night air and headed home.

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Author's note: hi again Stris fans. I, like everyone with a heart, hated how 5x04 ended. So here is a little continuation that I hoped happened off screen and we just never saw it 😀

Hope you enjoy!
Love, Emma 🌈