Trust me, babe

Chapter 31

Kenzie

Jacky glanced at his watch. "We should go, Kenzs. We'll be late from our flight."

"She doesn't answer me," I sniffed, unable to stop the tears from coming, no matter how hard I had been fighting. Though what did it even matter if I cried? I hadn't even bothered to put on any makeup. It just felt so insignificant right now. "I don't want to go like this," I complained. "I don't want to just leave and never see her again. Why doesn't she answer?"

I had been trying to call Kathryn all morning. I wanted to see her before Jacky and I would leave the country. I wanted to apologise for one more time. I wanted her to forgive me. I wanted us to be friends again.

And even if we could never be friends again, I wanted to at least be able to depart with peace.

But Kathryn didn't answer. No matter how many times I called her and how many messages I sent her, pleading her to answer. She just ignored me.

"I'll try calling her one more time," I told Jacky.

Jacky glanced at his watch again. "Alright. But then we really need to go. I don't have enough money to pay for new flights and more nights at the hotel."

"My parents will pay if it goes into that," I assured him, dialing Kathryn's number one more time and lifting the phone to my ear, praying for her to answer. I didn't usually pray but now I did for what was probably already the tenth time this morning.

But no matter how much I spammed both God and Kathryn, Kathryn didn't answer — apparently she was so stubborn and so angry that even God couldn't get her to soften enough that she'd answer me — and I ended up listening to the monotonous beeps of the phone once again. I had never hated those beeps so much.

Eventually the call went into voicemail: "Hello, this is Kathryn Summers. I am currently unable to answer you. Leave a message and I'll call you back."

If only you would call me back, I thought as bitter, hot tears rolled down my cheeks. My chest felt heavy and I was feeling so desperate and hopeless, that I could've thrown up any moment. But I know you won't call me back. You have blocked me out of your life. I am surprised you haven't blocked me on your phone yet. Are you watching me trying to reach you, my name constantly popping on your screen? Are you laughing at me? Laughing at my desperate attempts? Oh Kathryn, I wish you would forgive me. I am so sorry.

I didn't leave her a voicemail. I had already left her so many that I didn't have anything new to say. Besides, I was pretty sure she wouldn't listen to them anyway.

"I'm sorry Kenzs," Jacky said, appearing next to me and patting my back gently. "But we better go now. We'll just be late from the flight and it seems she won't be answering anyway."

I nodded, unable to say anything. I was so disappointed. Disappointed in everything. Disappointed in Kathryn, disappointed in myself. And I was just so unable to believe things had really turned out like this. Was this really the end? Did we really have to part forever and did we really have to part like this?

I followed Jacky out of the hotel room, through the corridors and into the elevator. I didn't even bother to wipe my tears away. I didn't care if other people saw me crying, crying like a baby. After all, a baby was what I felt like. I knew now that I wasn't grown up. I wasn't ready. I was still a stupid child who did stupid mistakes all the time. Maybe it was good I was going home now. Back home to Susanna who could comfort me and look after me just like she had done ever since I had been a little toddler.

At the airport I went through baggage drop, security control and passport check without even realizing it. Jacky just somehow guided me through all of it, apparently managing to look caring and safe enough that no one asked me why I was crying. Or then I just didn't notice them asking.