After sex cigarettes // dreamwastaken

XXII

It's the fourth day of the vacation and all we have done is shop and gone to the beach, we had a meal on the second evening but we've not been out so tonight is the night. I'm in the phone to Ena, even though she's next door. I sit in the bathroom sink layering eyeliner over my lash line. Clay keeps moaning about how he needs his 'Beauty time' in there. I'm wearing a black cow neck mini dress whereas Ena wears a electric blue dress which has diamanté straps. I wrap my hair in a claw clip just for ease and Ena matches me.

The club was jam packed. It was shoulder to shoulder, sweaty adults grind on one another. I try and head to the bar just to be shoved and nocked around. Finally I get to the bar, the bar tender was attractive, maybe 26, normal height, light, fluffy features. "Can I get two sex on the beaches, 2 tequila sunrises, 4 beers and like a load of shots."
"Woah woah, slow down, what's your name."
"Lara"
"From England?"
"How could you have ever guessed" a smirk fell on his face
"I'm Mike"
"From Florida?"
"LA actually"
"I've always wanted to go there, Hollywood, The walk of fame. It's so entrancing."
"Yeah it's nice"
"Anyway, two sex on the beaches"
"Name a time and Place" I blush
"Two tequila sunrises, 4 beers and loads of shots please Mike"
"Are you here with friends. Maybe a boyfriend?"
"God no, I think he's gay" I whisper pointing to the table. He racks up my tab. He also helps carry our drink to the table which we struck gold with. It's a small round table.

About an hour later and I'm shit faced, the boys are slumped in the corner 'saving' our table, whilst Ena and I are on the dance floor. We're just dancing together when I feel hands grab my waist, it's a random. "What's your name?" I ask leaning into his neck
"Sam"
"Hey Sam I'm Lara" and he was my fun for the night, obviously I didn't sleep with him but I brought him to the table
"This is Sam" he was greeted with the typical 'what's up man'. No one is really talking to each other other than Nick and Ena "let's dance before I can't" I lean into his ear, he takes my hand and we're up and moving.

"Sam can I tell you a secret" I'm so drunk I'm hanging onto this poor boy
"Tell me anything"
"I love clay" he stiffens slightly and pulls me towards a quiet hallway
"Why don't you tell him" we can have a conversation with having to shout-whisper.
"I'm not good enough. His mum hates me, she says I ruin him and that makes me hate myself" I feel tears brew in my eyes,
"I say you tell him, he's a grown man, why does he have to listen to his mommy all the time?"
"You're my second best friend" I hug him "give me your number so we can text and hang out" I drop my phone. Once or twice before I finally hand it to him, and when he finishes he's gone. I bring myself back to the table
"Where's Simon?" Clay asks
"I told SAM to go home" I see eyes dart towards me
"Let's do the same, I'm tired" Ena whines and I nod. We all climb I to an Uber and we're at the hotel within 10 minutes.

Nick gets Ena to hop on his back and they're off down the hallway leaving awkward silence to fill it up. I pause and take a second to remove my heels and clays rhythm also stops.
"Are you waiting for me?"
"Yes, obviously" the silence is restored when I catch up to him. He puts his keycard in the slots and we're in. Without any rationality I pick up the phone and hear
"Main office, how may I help?"
"Oh my god, yes. I want chips and like 3 Mojitos, please I'm so thirsty"
"What flavour chips would you like miss?"
"Like normal ones, the type you get at a fish and chip shop"
"Oh fries"
"Yes please, I'll also get 2 beers please"
"Yes miss, we'll be up in 10 minutes" I put the phone down and I see clay emerge from the bathroom
"Clay?" No answer "Clayton" he spins his head
"What"
"can I have a cuddle?" He rolls his eyes
"What you need is some clothes, I can see everything!"
"It's nothing new" I huff "wait. Have you been sleeping with other girls?" I storm over to him "what the actual hell, why do that?" I slap him.
"Woah woah, who's told you this?"
"You did! You're so stupid you can't hear yourself." I reach into the wardrobe and put pyjamas bottoms on.
"I do hear myself. I like my own voice, when did I say I was fucking other girl?" He lies on my bed, hands behind his neck
"You don't want to see me naked?! Are you Amish?"
"Just shut up and calm down. Get changed" he throws a random top at me
"You need to shut your eyes you perv! You have a girlfriend!" I turn around and whip the dress off and throw a cami on
"Come on, you're being psycho. Get some sleep"
"Ohhhh I'm being psycho? Okay! And I can't sleep because I want your bed"
"Well why didn't you say you wanted my bed?"
"Because you moody constantly. Surprise! You're not as cool as you think you are!" I grab a makeup wipe and start to remove all of tonight's remanence off my face "anyway, I have a man coming for me soon so will you go into the bathroom while he hear"
"Pffft, you're fucking joking. Who is it the bartender or Sam?"
"Don't swear at me" then the door knocks "get into the bathroom"
"Get fucked" he's literally not moved a hair from his position.
"Room service" comes through the door,
"Hiya sorry about that, you can charge this to clay goldfields card, I'm his gold digging ex girlfriend" I smile and take the trolly off the kind man.
"What is all of this?" He rubs a hand over his face "that I'm paying for! Is your for your new boyfriend?"
"Actually no." He looks dumbfounded "it's for you, but since you're being insufferable I don't want you to have any" he takes a beer anyway and I slurp half a mojito down and dig into my chips.
"Lara, please just take a breath"
"No, actually clay I won't breath. I'll be like a little baby and hold my breath till I get my own way!"
"What do you want then Lara?"
"It's a secret" I take a mouthful of chips "and even if I was to have a 'new' boyfriend, it has nothing to do with you, I broke up with Finn months ago. Last time I checked that was the last relationship I've had" I didn't realise how sharp my words were until I saw his face, he looked so upset
"Ugh, maybe my mom was right"
"What are you going to do? Have a tantrum? Run off and never talk to me for weeks? Ooooo same old clay"
"Please let's have some peace, what a way to ruin a nice night"
"No clay, it hasn't been a nice night, we have barley spoken this whole trip and this is how you tell me you're sleeping around." I Finnish my first drink. I'm too angry to eat anymore chips.
"Lara I have NOT slept with anyone, and as you said it's got fuck all to do with you" my eyeliner still won't come off my face
"Clay?"
"What"
"I need help" I hand him the make up wipe and he slowly wipes my face.
"Listen to me now Lara, I haven't been sleeping with anyone, the only girls I've spoken to recently are Lacey and Ava, they were asking why I haven't spoken to my mom in weeks. And what do you want me to do? Sit and gossip with you about all these men that want you? Honestly, I don't care unless they're me. I don't know why you ended it, I think you copped out and I'm so angry about that, but I can't be angry at you. You have such a foul temper and you keep using it on me. Why? I'm not sure? But no matter how horrible your words are, I will always sit and listen since you are and will always be so important to me" I sit with my head in his lap silently, tears stream down my cheeks wetting his Jean
"I'm sorry, it was all my fault"
"Yeah I know it was"
"Can I have your bed?"
"Will you tell me why you ended it?" I nod "then of course you can"

Deep breaths, liquid courage runs deep through me as I've just drank my second mojito, we sit cross legged looking at each other.
"No noise from the audience." I take a millisecond "you're mum broke my heart, I've had people say all types of horrid stuff about me but I feel like her words were jagged and got stuck in me. She was completely right though, I will never be enough for you. And believe it or not that's the truth. Her words ran through me like a rude awakening and I was glad she said it. I wanted to become that woman so badly but I just don't know if I can anymore. I tried everything to get your mother approval, I answered all her questions, even the intrusive ones but I just couldn't wrap my head around me being bad for you, distracting you. You're too important to me to let you ruin yourself. It shant happen. I want to hate you so much, I really do, but I just can't, when I saw you with that waitress it brought bile up in my throat, I was nearly sick. That wasn't fair at all, and you know it! I just think there is nothing here, you deserve someone who can be with you and that you deserve and deserves you" my nonsensical blabbering made sense to me. 
"My mom was completely wrong, she just doesn't want anything that's not her. If you tell me what I can do for us to get back together, I'll do it. I miss you, I miss us. You made me happy, so fucking happy."
"It's your mum, you can't not speak to her, it's unfair. I'm not being the reason for that. And your mum has valid reason to think that, I think we should just leave it"
"Shut up. You need to know your worth" He interrupt
"I do. I don't know what's wrong with you"
"What's wrong with me? You're the one that's so stubborn and you can see that I fucking love you." He starts to pace. "It's my life and I can choose who I speak to and who I don't" he grabs his phone "mom? Yeah I don't care what time it is. Listen to me now" seeing him he so over protective is so hot "you need to apologise to Lara, I don't if you think I'm naive. You're a jealous woman and until you make it right with her I'll have no mom, you need to change your attitude. I'll speak to you like a child since you're acting like one" he hangs up
"Why did you do that?"
"Because I can! It's my life, I'll choose to do with it as I please" I take one of the beers and sip on it.
"I'm sorry" I feel all small and timid, I don't want to upset him anymore. He's sits on the edge of my bed shaking his leg.
"Stop fucking apologising"
"Sorry" there's a long pause of silence

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Posted 16/11/21
              22:49

Sheesh!!!! Thank you for 200 reads 🖤