Logan

13| Echos from the past

The next month flies by in a breeze. The fall showcase is quickly approaching and we are putting the final touches on our dances. I am doing a solo to Clouds By Elias and a duet with Summer to Rescue by Lauren Daigle. We also have a group dance that includes everyone in the class. We are currently running through our group dance. We are dancing to Game of Survival by Ruelle. As we run through our dance I can't help but stare at my reflection in the mirror. I still look like I did before we left California but I can feel myself healing and growing. I've made so much progress in the month and a half that I've been here and I am so proud of myself.

I walk with the girls out to the parking lot after school. We are laughing and talking when I see something that makes me stop dead in my tracks. Or someone. My breathing picks up almost immediately. I want to run but my feet are glued to my spot on the ground. The girls stop and look at me trying to figure out why I stopped. Dani is the first to notice where I'm staring.

"What's wrong?" Dani asks. I don't respond. I can't respond. It's like I've lost the ability to speak. He starts walking closer to me and I tense up immediately.

"Hey Lo, long time no see," He says with a smirk. The nickname makes me shudder. The girls look between me and him trying to figure out the situation. "Oh come on no warm welcome?"

"Fuck you," 

"Aw come on you know you missed me. I know you never meant all of those things you said back home. I know you were just having a tough time. I forgive you." His statement makes my blood boil with anger.

"You and I both know that isn't true," I all but yell.

"But it is. You fabricated all of those things to get attention. All you had to do was ask and I would have happily given it to you. You remember how good that night was,"

"Good?" I scoff. "You think that was good. How delusional do you have to be."

"Look I know you were a virgin but that doesn't mean you can deny what happened babe,"

"Deny what happened? You took advantage of the fact that I trusted you. I brought you into my home and you took advantage of me and my body," I yell, growing angrier by the second. "And don't ever call me babe," I seeth.

"You know you loved every second of it," I can feel the tears welling up as well as the anger building up within me. I stare at him for a while before I have to turn away from his hungry gaze. "Look I just came here to tell you that I forgive you for what you did back in Cali and I'll take you back,"

"You forgive me?" I yell. "I did nothing to you. You raped me! You fucking raped me! You have no right to come here and tell me that. You. Forgive. Me. You traumatized me. What you did to me tore me up inside and was eating away at me until I tried to kill myself. And when I told people they didn't believe me. I had to listen to so many people talk about how great a guy you were and how I clearly just regretted sleeping with you. You are a monster. You made me hate myself for something that was never my fault. You have caused me so much pain and suffering," I pause to take a deep breath. "So you don't get to come here to my school and tell me you forgive me. You don't get to make me feel bad about coming forward. The only thing I regret is ever thinking you were a good person."

 I finish my loud rant and stare at him. He looks floored. I don't think he ever expected me to stand up to him like that. Honestly, I didn't even expect it, it was like there was this sudden wave of confidence and it felt like I could finally say what I had wanted to say for months. I then look around to see that there are a lot of people staring at us. Many people are whispering and some were even videoing it. I turn a little more to see Christian standing a little ways away with a concerned look on his face and what looks like a hint of pride. Brandon steps forward to grab my arm but is quickly pulled back by Christian.

"Don't you even think about it," Christian says in a menacing voice. Brandon steps away with his hands raised in surrender.

"Need your boyfriend to protect you now?" Christian clenches his jaw.

"I don't need anyone to protect me, not anymore."

"Whatever, enjoy my sloppy seconds. She's a lot of fun in bed," Brandon laughs stepping away. Before Christian can lunge at him I do. Christian grabs a hold of my arms before I am able to punch him. 

"You son of a bitch," I yell trying to get out of Christian's grip.

"As much as I want to punch him too you can't, it will only make things worse. Especially with all these people around." Christian whispers into my ear. I relax slightly and stop trying to lunge at Brandon. We watch as he walks to his car and drives away. The crowd around us slowly starts to disperse and I turn back to my friends.

"Can we go home now?" I ask with an exasperated sigh. They all nod and we start walking towards my car. Christian pulls me aside while everyone keeps walking.

"Are you ok?" He asks softly. 

"Honestly? I have no idea."

"I get that. I'm proud of you for standing up to him. Are you gonna be ok at home?"

"I don't know the girls will be there since it's a Friday but I'm definitely gonna be on edge for the next few days,"

"Do you want me to come over?"

"Sure," I reply with a slight smile.

"Ok, let's get going before one of them complains,"

When we get to my house I got to my room and change into sweats and a hoodie. We all sit in the living room and watch a movie. Christian has practically been glued to my side since we got here. We are watching movies when my parents get home. Me and Christian walk into the kitchen so I can tell them what happened at school.

"Mom, Dad I need to tell you guys something,"

"Sure honey, what is it?" My mom says.

"It's about Brandon." They both visibly tense up at the mention of him. "He showed up at school today,"

"He did what!?" My dad asks angrily.

"He showed up outside the school and confronted me when me and the girls were leaving. He keep going on about how he forgave me and how he would take me back. I yelled at him and he started to leave then he started saying stuff again. Christian had to hold me back from punching him." My parents both look over at Christian almost like they are only now noticing he was here.

"Christian huh? Who is he, sweetie? Your boyfriend?" My mom asks teasingly. My face turns bright red.

"No, he's not my boyfriend. We're friends," I state I look at Christian to see him nodding silently with a strange look on his face.

"Christian, can you head back to the living room so we can talk to Logan?" My dad asks. He nods and exits the room. "Are you alright sweetie? Do you want to talk to someone about what happened today?" 

"No, but just so you know there will probably be some videos about what happened going around soon. I saw some people recording the argument." My parents nod and let me go back to the living room. I take my seat next to Christian and we continue our movies. Later we move the movie marathon to my room with Dani and Christian on either side of me on the bed and Summer and Taylor on the couch at the foot of my bed.

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Have you ever wanted to jump through a book and kill a character? Well, Brandon make me want to do that and make it very slow and painful. Like seriously, how is someone that vile of a human. Actually, I wouldn't call him a human, more like a sentient pile of shit. It might be a little extreme but you know, it's how I feel. Also, Logan is a strong woman who isn't going to stand by and listen to the spew of hate coming from Brandon. Good for her. XO my lovely readers.

Love, Marie