Logan

23| You can never break me, not truly

My stomach is a mess of nerves and anxiety. I sit at my desk staring at my blank sheet of paper, trying to figure out where to start. How do you write something like this? I think I stare at my paper for hours before I finally get an idea. I begin pouring out all of my thoughts and feelings. When I finish my mom calls me downstairs for dinner.

"Hey honey, did you finish your letter?"

"Yeah, it took me a while to figure out what I wanted to say but I feel like this is my chance not only to get justice for this but to take back my strength, I don't want to be afraid or feel weak anymore," She smiles before hugging me.

"I am so proud of you sweetheart,"

"I know,"

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I am dreading today. I have to face him, I have to be in the same room as him as my story is told to all in attendance. I know that this is what I need to do but it's hard. But I'll push through because I am strong and I won't back down.

I take my time getting ready. I put on a light layer of foundation and some mascara. I curl my hair and then get dressed. I put on a white turtle neck and a black dress, it's simple but makes me look presentable. I head downstairs to where my parents are waiting for me.

"Are you ready for this?" My dad asks. I nod.

"I think so,"

"Then let's get this show on the road," He says walking to the door. Me and my mom follow him and we all get in the car. The drive to the courthouse is short and before I know it I am inside waiting for the hearing to start. We're standing in the lobby when he arrives. I immediately tense as he makes his way into the building. His face looking smug as his eyes settle on me. I pull my gaze away from him and to Christian who is walking towards me. He smiles and speaks up.

"You are going to do great today," He almost whispers.

"Thank you," I say in the same quiet voice. He gives me a smile and pulls me into a hug. I hug him back and pull away only when the police officer says that it is time for our hearing. Christian leaves to sit and I walk to where my lawyer has set up.

"Are you ready for this?" She asks. I nod and we both sit.

"Please rise..." I hear the officer begin to speak, I don't hear all of it but I stand and sit when directed. Once we all have resumed our seats the Judge goes over the charges being listed against him. Rape. Statutory rape. Attempted murder.

"Ms. Young? Are you ready for your testimony," The Judge asks.

"Yes ma'am," I say standing from my seat and heading towards the stand. They make me swear on the bible and when I do I take a deep breath. I can do this. I pull my letter out of my pocket and open it up.

"I was raped. No matter the result of today's hearing I know that fact and I am here today to make sure you know that too. When I was writing this I thought of all the things I wanted to say and one thing stuck out to me. When I first met Jack I was kind to him. He was getting beat up at school and I stepped in and kept him from getting his nose broken," 

"The next day he came to thank me and something about it made me uneasy, even though he was showing me gratitude I still didn't feel safe not even from the beginning. Then the next week I went to a party with my friends, we had just been hanging out and I left to go to the bathroom. When I left the bathroom Jack cornered me, I tried fighting him off but he was stronger than I was but I had someone really amazing save me,"

"Who was that?"

"Christian Williams, he helped me get away from Jack and calmed me down, I never reported that incident because I was scared and I wasn't willing to trust a system that had failed me once before but when he got to me again, when he actually succeeded in what he had tried to do months ago I knew I couldn't let him get away with it,"

"What do you mean a system that failed you once before?"

"Before me and my family moved here I was raped by my boyfriend, we had been together for over a year and he thought he had a right to me and my body. I pressed charges but they were ultimately dropped. But that isn't what's important here, what's important here is that Jack raped me and he deserves to be punished for that. These marks," I say pulling down the neck of my shirt to expose the bruises around my neck. "are the result of an experience that I'll never forget. You made me feel weak and helpless, you made me feel a way I told myself I would never feel again. But you also showed me how strong I am, I'll survive I always do, but you will rot. Even if you don't get charged with anything we both know what you did and we both know you are a monster. Nothing will change that."

"And your honor, I hope you don't drop these charges, no matter how many times he proclaims his innocence there is no erasing what he did to me, there is no erasing the damage he has done," I look back down at my paper to read what else I wanted to say.

"When Jack dragged me into that room I was so afraid. He was so calculated that there was no way I could chalk it up to us running into each other by accident. He had zip-ties in his pocket that he used to bind my hands and he knew exactly where he was taking me when he led me down that hall. And when his hands were on me they were sure and demanding, at one point I thought he might kill me. He gripped my neck so tightly that I couldn't breathe. He violated me and my body in ways you can only understand once you have gone through something like that. But one thing he didn't do was break me. I'm still here and I'm not going anywhere, I'll keep fighting no matter what is thrown at me and Jack, believe me when I say that you can never break me, not truly," 

After I finished speaking the Judge went to her chambers to make her verdict. We waited eagerly for the charges.

"Today we came together for the case of Young versus Manning. The charges being leveled were Rape in the first degree, attempted murder, and statutory rape. The defendant is charged with Sexual assault in the first degree with a sentence of eight months, attempted murder with a sentence of nine months, and statutory rape with a sentence of seven months,"

2 years. He got 2 years! It's not a long time but it is a huge victory.

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I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. Logan did it, she stood up for herself and took down Jack. Also, this book is officially 6 months old, time flies. XO my lovely readers.

Love, Marie