Life is but a Dream (Spike Spiegel x Reader)

What are You Thinking?

The darkening shiner was starting to ease down, the slight ache warming the right side of your face. Eyes droopy and puffy from crying, you were more than happy to have Spike in your room tonight. The one to wipe your tears, to press ice on your wounds and to kiss your head. You were so grateful to him, feeling as if you couldn't say thank you enough.

Spike sat upright as he watched you sleep. Looking on as he saw your eyes rapidly moved underneath your eyelids, engulfed in a deep slumber. He wanted to believe the reason he was still awake was that he was just comforting you as some company and not the conflict that was slowly inching into his mind.

What are you to me?

Sharing lust and passion was the basis of you and him, anger and an unbridled need for each other's touch wove into each other in the right places. He remembers that first month, all the resentment he felt towards you was cooled down for brief moments thanks to his sinful thoughts. In his classic fashion, Spike would push it down, out of existence.

He wanted to hate you, craved to see the day your nice ass walked away and to your new ship, far far far away from him. The panic he felt as his door was wide opened, his feelings exposed and facade down. The tears and emotions in your voice changed his outlook on you, screaming at him to just let you in for once. It was real, the snap that changed you from enemy to lover.

Lover.

Could he call you that? Fucking with no attachments was friends with benefits. Friends with benefits don't start with passion like you both had. It was like a firm handshake or smoking a cig. But then he started to get to know you. Your favorite color to wear, the food you hate the most, your old hopes and dreams that you believed fully were still within an arm's reach. He would believe it with you. He wanted to be there to see it.

There it was again. And Spike was so ready for it. Jumbled and scattered thoughts were pieced together to create a whole epiphany.

The lonely cowboy, who swore off love and compassion to another woman for the rest of his life, felt his heart beating once again. It came back with a vengeance, unleashing the possibilities of new life. Tingly and fuzzy, it brought in such a need for you that it hurt his chest physically.

He slithered under the sheets, his arm propping his head up as his gaze never got off of you. Your quiet snores, the rise and fall of your body as you slept, made Spike fall even more for you. A living artwork, he was tempted to reach out and trace his fingers over the shape of you, hoping that you were real. A light fingertip grazed your hairline and ear, going down to your neck and shoulder. You were definitely real.

Your body shifted, stirring at Spike's touch. He pulled his hand back, holding his breath as he prayed that he didn't wake you at all. An eye cracked open briefly, brows furrowing once more.

"Hmm?" You asked, voice high and raspy. "You okay?"

Spike smiled and kissed your forehead, lingering for more than a second. That was all he needed to do to let you know everything was fine. You smiled back softly, letting your head fall onto the pillow back into your slumber.

Laying his head down, Spike's eyes were threatening to close. Reaching out, he placed his hand on your cheek, rubbing his thumb tenderly.

If I can't see you, he thought. I can just feel you.

Spike knew that this time, he could wake back up into pleasant dreams from his nightmares. Just as long as you were him, under his grasp and touch. He didn't want to wait to see your face again, kissing and holding it to his heart's content. The morning couldn't come soon enough.

As he head drifted into sleep, a worrisome feeling of doubt casted over.

Storm clouds, although big and fluffy, were filled with a growing sense of hesitation. Eyes shot open, a sinking feeling pulling his heart back to the other side that it originally belonged. Thoughts were stepping back into a line that consisted of grief and a emotionless state. The remembrance of that time was blurred, but Spike could still recall the feeling of nothing, good or bad, in his tortured body. Not this again, he thought. The mind was finally made up, where was this coming from?

Stop.

So much for burying the old soul that once was.

Honestly, could he really love you?
-
[A/N] Most of Kinktober is uploaded on tumblr! I will make separate short volumes containing the prompts on here. Characters included are Din Djarin, Kylo Ren, Spike Spiegel, Lotor and Loki. I'm working on the next chapter of this fic, as well as some requests. If you have one for any of the characters I listed above, please please drop a request! Thank y'all so much for the support <3!