Life is but a Dream (Spike Spiegel x Reader)

All Apologies

Warning: there is a TON of smut in this chapter. It could be all over the place, but its here ;}

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It was 4 in the morning, and you were not tired.

There was enough time for a short nap, and then it was up and at 'em to show Jet what you had taken from your rendezvous. Sludging yourself out of the bathroom and into the hallway, you put your pajamas on quickly and looked in the corridor. By the time you and Spike had climbed back on the ship, the entire crew was dead asleep. Even Jet, who was up at all hours of the night, had turned in.

You hoped that the food that you brought home was going to last, but knowing by tomorrow morning, it was going to be devoured rather quickly. That was okay, it was why you brought it home. Smiling to yourself as you remembered who made that for you, you leaned against the doorway, happy to see Lou again.

When all of this was over, it was game on. Sunday dinners in the diner with Spike, perhaps the rest of the crew. Coffee and cherry pie to end the night, a nice way to start off the rest of the week. You just couldn't wait.

Entering Spike's room, you saw him sitting down looking at the scan you had taken from earlier. He studied every nook and cranny of the machinery.

A kiss before getting into the Swordfish, and another when getting out, you remembered. You savored each kiss, not caring if it was public at all. You felt like you always needed one from him.

"Wou's nice." Spike spoke, his voice muffled by the cornbread muffin stuffed in his mouth.

"Woo?" You smirked, kissing his cheek. He swallowed the rather large muffin as he looked at the hologram. "We can look at that tomorrow." You started, combing his hair and fluffing the sides. "Rest now."

"Not when you found this." He mumbled, dropping the scanner on the desk. "You would think they would hide all of this better."

"Its a show of power. You know that." You sat on the bed, flopping back. "I really don't know how we're going to take care of that."

"Calling the ISSP could be an option, although action is gonna come too late." Spike said, taking off his shirt and sitting by your side. You put your hand on his back and began to rub circles. He sighed into your touch. "Its not out of the question though."

"It would give them a lead." You said, scoffing softly. "Greed is my driving factor for all of this. Can you imagine the reward?" You joked.

"I think we're past that point."

He was right. The reward that was coveted above all was your life, and the life that sat next to you on the bed. This was going to be no easy feat, knowing their determination in Jo's heart. If she even had one.

You painfully let the one horrible idea enter your head, one that you set in the back of your mind, and only brought out for special occasions. A mission where you would go alone, be the sacrificial lamb they waited on. It would save a lot of people, and prolong peace. You were, after all, what the syndicate wanted.

It was the initial idea when you were finally able to come to your senses after the Earth incident.

As unappealing as it sounded, it was a last resort. You hoped it would never come to that. But the more you took apart and analyzed every way all of you could make out of this mess alive, the more peace seemed like a distant dream.

This was a reality you never wanted to face. And it was very hard to hide that you were even thinking this.

You stared down Spike's back, taking in every curve, every breath he took. He was steady. He turned to look at you, his eyes trained on yours. At one time, even holding this contact was all you wanted. Physical touch was still steps away, but if it meant he could see you and stop avoiding you, you would take it. He fell back on the bed softly.