Hold Me Tight

0.8: Memories

"I can see it in your eyes that you despise the same old lies you heard the night before,
And though it's just a line to you for me it's true it never seemed so right before."
-Frank Sinatra

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"It's my life dad! and I am not changing what I want to do because of you!" I screamed the same statement I had repeated countless times. My chest felt heavy and for a moment the room went silent.

"I don't want to see you." those words were almost a whisper, but I heard them very clearly, my eyes widened in confusion wondering if those words actually meant something. "You're a disgrace to this family, leave now."

So they did mean something.

I froze for a second but then stormed to my room, tears were starting to form in my eyes as I grabbed some of my things throwing them into my bag. I can't believe this is actually happening.

A few minutes later, I went back to the living room, holding the small bag with the things I was able to pack. I took a look at my father as my hand gripped on the door handle, waiting for a word to be said but not a single peep was heard.

I finally went out the door and walked to the front yard.

"Never come back!" were the last words I heard intil the door shut closed behind me.

I slowly opened my eyes, only to feel they were swollen, I touched my face only to feel there were tear stains all over it. I slowly sat up in my bed but I could feel my head banging loudly causing a sharp pain.

The memory of the person that most pain caused me was back. It had been a while since I last dreamt about him, but whenever I did, it always messed me up completely.

Once I gained some more consciousness, I slowly stood up and made my way to the bathroom. God, what am I going to do with this face? I did the best I could to hide the state I was in right now, hoping no one would ask.

Once I finished getting ready, I made my way to the café and saw Lucas had already opened and was getting everything ready for the day. Along with Olivia who was teaching him everything he needed for his new job.

"Hey April, everything alright?" Olivia looked at me, I looked at her through the corner of my eye and I could see concern in her. I should've used more concealer.

"Yeah, just had a hard time sleeping but I'm okay." I tried my best to put up a smile, hoping it would seem genuine but we both knew much better than that.

"I see... I guess it can happen to anyone, let me make you something that can make you feel better." with that she left to prepare a drink for me, thankfully she did not ask anymore questions and I started getting everything ready for the day, and showing Lucas around.

I drank my coffee and customers slowly started coming, I did my best to put on my best smile but it was definitely hard. Olivia left after she had finished teaching everything to Lucas and now it was just the two of us getting everything done.

Soon enough, the evening arrived, Johnny came in a bit earlier than usual and we served everyone like we usually did, however there was something that had me thinking the entire day other than the fact that my head was killing me.

Eli did not show up.

I guess I had gotten used to seeing him everyday, it was the first time he did not come in the morning, with his usual goofy self. To be honest, after such a long day I was hoping to see him, but I guess it's not going to happen.

We finished the day, cleaned everything up and made sure everything was ready to close, when I heard a sound coming from my phone, meaning a message had been sent.

Eli: See u at the park in 20?

I was surprised by the message showing in my screen. We did not text often, so him just randomly texting me like that was not very usual. Is he going to give some excuse why he didn't come today? It's not like he has to. But I have to admit, I did want to go, It would be nice to have some fresh air after such a day.

I was definitely not in the mood for walking so I made my way to the nearest bus station, I got on the bus and made my way to the park, once getting there, I slowly walked towards the same spot Eli and I sat last time, hoping that's where he would be and thankfully he was.

"Hey, how was Lucas's first day?" his optimistic tone, made me feel lighter instantly.

"It was good, he's a fast learner so that's great. And he brought some new ideas for the menu as well." I looked at him carefully as I spoke, I could tell he was also looking at me like trying to read me, but I'm sure I am hiding it better this time.

"That's great, I'll make sure to go and try every new drink." We both fell into the silence, as the question popped into my head. Why did you not go today? But I didn't want to seem like I needed him to go. However, my mind couldn't help but imagine a thousand of scenarios as to why he did not go."I'm sorry I couldn't make it today, I had a project to work on all day, and didn't go out until I texted you." thank God.

"Oh, yeah no problem, you don't need to apologize it's not like you have to go everyday you know." I tried to play it off as if I was cool with that but in reality I felt relieved he actually explained.

"I know I don't have to go everyday, but I really enjoy it, it helps me concentrate whenever I have work to do just to sit there and... Yeah" For some reason his words seemed like they were missing something, but I couldn't exactly tell what they were. I looked up at him to get a hint on whatever he was thinking but got absolutely no clue.

"Did something happen?" he finally broke the silence, I truly wish he didn't. I guess I had forgotten how tired I look and he must've noticed that as well.

"I-" don't tell him. "I just had a hard time sleeping last night, so today was kind of a long day." saved it. I couldn't let him know what actually happened, honestly I wasn't even lying completely, it was not the truth, but also not a lie.

"Your words say that but your face says something completely different." his words were almost inaudible and my mind started a battle of whether to open up or keep it to myself.

"I-" I really can't do this now. "Uhm-" I couldn't even find the right words to say, my thoughts were so loud, making the headache come back, my vision started becoming blurry once again and I had to lower my face so he wouldn't see the tears trying to come out.

That's when I felt a large hand, cupping my cheek, Immediately making me feel warm. I slowly lifted my face back up and saw him giving me a simpathetic smile as he carefully rubbed small circles with his thumb on my cheek. "You don't need to say anything, I understand."

I understand. I didn't even realized thats exactly what I needed until I heard it, just a moment of silence, not having to say word and someone understanding actions speak louder than words. What am I doing?

We stood like that for a few moments, until without noticing our faces were too close to each other. But I pulled away before anything else could happen. I have to admit, Eli is very attractive, and him being just so comprehensive all the time just makes him better.

But he's not him. Eli is a great guy but my heart already belonged to someone else as much as I tried to avoid it.

My heart had already found a safe place.

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The prologue makes a lot more sense now. Why do you think April's father kicked her out?

Please show this chapter lots of looovee.