Hold Me Tight

1.5 Riley

"Fine at the start,
Then left with a heart that is breaking,
Maybe I'll live a life of regret
And maybe I'll give much more than I get
But nevertheless, I'm in love with you."
-The Mills Brothers
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Silence.

I couldn't handle it anymore, the silence was eating me alive as tears threatened to fall. Is he going to ignore me now? I don't think he would do it, maybe he is trying to understand everything.

"So your decision was to run to the arms of that guy who you've known for like two months instead of coming to me?" he must be joking right now. I looked up at him trying to decipher what he was trying to say but his face showed pure anger as his nose flared from his deep breathing. Us that seriously the only thing he cares about?

"Andrew, he went there, I didn't even-" I'm tired. I paused with a sigh  before I kept explaining further, he is way to angry to even talk properly right now. "You know what? It's not even worth it, you believe whatever you want, I'm tired of this, we can talk when you are actually willing to listen." A part of me wanted him to stay, talk it out, I never liked going to bed mad at each other, but this time I was tired, of everything going on and this pointless argument was not helping.

Maybe I should've tried explaining further, but the headache was making it difficult for me to even think about anything else.

"So you're pushing me away now? Are you going to run to that Eli guy's arms for him to console you now." his tone was low but his venomous words were loud enough to fill me up with anger.

"Leave. Now." I breathed heavily ad the anger kept building up but he didn't even budge. If he thinks I'm going to keep this going he's seriously wrong.

After a couple of minutes of silence I figured he was not planning to move anytime soon, so I did the job myself and pulled his arm, opening the door and let him walk out by himself. It seemed like he was about to say something but I slammed the door on his face before I could here any of his words.

I don't even know where the confidence to kick him out came from. The realization hit me immediately after I slammed the door and all the tears I had been holding onto started falling freely, this time I didn't even try to stop them.

Thankfully Holly had messaged me earlier saying she would be going out with the guys she is dating and said she wouldn't be home tonight so after some time crying on the floor, I didn't even realize how much time it had been but I made my way to my room, not caring to change into more comfortable clothes. I just threw myself to my bed and tried to sleep. Key word, tried. Today's events kept replaying over and over again making me cry the entire night.

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The next couple of days just went by even worse than the past couple of weeks, no matter how much I tried to keep my mind ocuppied, I always felt like I was doing something wrong, like everything around me would crumble down in no time.

Thankfully, Jake and mom stopped showing up which made me feel a little bit better, but the pain deep down in my heart for pushing them away lingered still no matter how much I try to deny it was there to myself. I knew better.

Everything at the Cafe went as smoothly as it could, Olivia and Johnny didn't ask questions about anything, which also made me feel better even if I was hurting badly.