BAHAHAHAHA!!!!" I had to find something to watch to fake a laugh, I needed to cover up the pain that'd be in my face otherwise, that's what I usually do. I was flipping through the television channels to find something when I saw a yellow sponge stick his foot up a crab's ass. There was one person in particulare though, one person whome I loved with my entire being. I spent every night thinking of how we could ever be together but I knew that none of my ideas would ever work in a million years. I decided that I would tell him on March ninth so I had some chance of having an ok birthday on the tenth instead of wondering how he felt about me even though I already knew the answer, I just wanted the chance to hear something that would make the rest of his life meaningless. I wanted to hear him say that he felt the same way about me that I felt about him, even though I had little hope that that would ever happen. I just needed a clear response from the man I loved, I knew I was being greedy when I found out I loved the most perfect person as possible..
"Mir! SHUT UP!" shouted G.O from the kitchen. After he said that I realized just how fake I sounded, if I kept acting like I was happy unnaturally, then the others would find out immediatly that something was wrong. But this was the one thing I couldn't let them know, which would freak them out seeing that, in MBLAQ, I'm the most open about everything and anything. If somebody asks me something, no matter how stupid or serious, I'll just answer it even if my answer makes no sence. It's just how I am.
Each day seemed to have less time then the last, and before I knew it, it was already the eighth. The day before I planned to tell Joon I loved him. I still hadn't figured out in anyway how I was going to tell him, so that's what I spent most of the day thinking about. The others were acting normal, they all thought I was just spacing out, trying to imagine what everybody got me. I heard G.O and Seungho talking about it and thought I couldn't hear them, I pretended I couldn't to make them happy. Nobody disturbed me until just past eight-thirty in the evening, after the group's activities. I was just sitting, looking out at all the lights through the window, still thinking like I had done all day.
"Hey stranger, what's got you so quiet today?" I heard Joon say, I flipped around, startled that anyone said a word to me when I was like this, I expecting to find him by the couch but instead I found his face only inches from mine. I flinched and ended up hitting my head on the window.
"OUCH! Dammit! That hurt!" I said with my left hand on my head, I stood up to go get an icepack from the freezer when I was held back by Joon grabbing onto my right hand. It was warm, and comforting. It made me feel like I was floating even though he was only going to say how he didn't mean to scare me. No. I shouldn't be thinking like this! "Relax, I'm not mad, I was just startled is all." I said when I looked back and saw the pain in his face from thinking he hurt me. At least that's what I thought that face was from.
"What's going on Mir? You haven't said a word to anyone today, what's going on in there?" He asked half joking and half serious as he poked my forehead.
"Can I get an icepack first?" I asked with a smirk on my face. As soon as I said that he immediatly put an arm around my shoulders and walked me into the kitchen where he sat me down in a chair at the table and got me and icepack. He held it on my head for my with an even more pained look on his face than before. "Joon? What's wrong?"
"I asked first." He said with his serious smirk, and he did ask first. But I couldn't tell him, could I? No. I was going to tell him tomorrow, even though I still wasn't sure how. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, it's just.. I hate seeing you like this, you really don't have to tell me, I was just playing around, but if hehre's anything I can do to help you, please don't hesitate to ask" He pleaded. I wondered why he was flipping out when I realized how my face had a very.. distressed expression on it. But I still couldn't tell him, maybe I should just ask..
"Hey Joon, what do you think of me? Honestly." I just let out, My head dropped to face the ground, my cheeks burning red from the immediate embarrasment that hit me as my eyes tightly closed. I felt his hand and icepack slowly slide off my head, I heard as he pulled his chair to sit right in front of me but I still didn't look up. The spot on my head where the icepack was felt warm now I noticed when I suddenly felt the chill under my chin. "Jeeze, that's cold!" I sad while laughing and was forced to look up to a smiling, yet concerned, Joon face.
"Why?" Joon asked curiously, his smirk completely gone. But before I could answer he had begun. "I-"
"Wait! Can we talk about this tomorrow? Please?" I ended up pleading. I told myself I was going to talk to him tomarrow about it so that's what it was going to be. Even if it was going to drive me crazy. I ran out of the kitchen and into my bedroom, locking the door behind me. I was laying on my bed, trying not to think about how tomarrow would go. Yeah right, like that would ever happen. Tomorrow was the only think I COULD think about. About two minutes after I entered my room I heard footsteps walk up, a sigh, something slide across the floor, three nocks, and then the footsteps again. I glanced at the floor by the door and saw an envelope. I got up and walked to the door and picked up the envelope, sat on my bed again and opened it quietly. The note inside read;
Mir,
I'm really sorry about tonight. I really didn't mean to startle you, you were just looking too serious for it to be normal. I'm sorry about your head, I hope it doesn't leave a bump. Like I said earlier, if you don't want to talk to me about it then you don't have to, but there is something I want to ask you about. And yeah, it's kinda obvious, but you left in such a rush that I didn't a chance to ask, and I guess it didn't really seem like the right time to ask about it either. Oh well! I'll talk to you about it soon. Sleep well Mir! See you tomarrow, bright and early!
-Joon ^^
What did Joon want to ask me? It might be about what I asked him and why I stopped him from answering.. That had to be it, that was the only thing I could think of. I gave up on trying not to think about tomarrow and thought of the best thing and most impossible thing that could happen in a lifetime and eventually my mind drifted to sleep...Ok, so I know I already had this uploaded, but I'm scrapping that, making the chapter into 2 shorter ones, and I'm going to get back into writing it again! I feel so bad for procrastinating it this much...
