Addiction

CHAPTER TWENTY

"What do you mean you're pregnant? I thought you were taking your birth control?" I put my head down. Man, you really screwed this one up Scarlet. Ryan could tell that the tears spilling to the ground were beginning to take over me, "I am so sorry, Ryan." "Come on." Ryan had gotten up from the floor where he was naked and stood up to pick me up. He wiped away my tears and slowly embraced me with his arms, "We're going to be okay. Let's just double make sure that you are."

There was still that chance. That I wasn't. It was just my app either way.

It could be wrong. Well, I was hoping. "With a lot of things going on, I completely forgot to take it. There were just so many things happening. I.. I just." F-uck, I just couldn't. There was already too much going on in my life and now this happens? "Okay, when was the last time you remember taking it?" Fuck, okay. Let me see. Oh Shit.

I think the last time was before you and Lee..." The tears were starting to come down again, "I know how this all looks, Ryan. But I promise you, I never intended for this to happen." Ryan had to believe me that I was being serious about this. The first time that I even met him, he had asked me about this. "Maybe we should make you a doctor appointment. Just to confirm if you are, or aren't." He sighed,

"Then we can worry to see if it's Lee's or mine." I really did not want something like this to happen. "I'll call right now." I dialed the number to the nearest women's clinic to schedule an appointment. What if it this baby is Lee's? This morning had been starting ridiculously bad. I started cooking a big breakfast feast to make up for my mistakes, but this was nothing compared to having a baby. If I was pregnant.

"Scarlet, you mustn't torture yourself." Ryan had come from behind me after showering and cleaning himself up. He placed his hands right above my waist, "You're over thinking. For all we know, you've been really stressed out." "That's not the point, Ryan. What if I am? And what if it's Lee's baby?" I put the pancakes I had just finished making and put them on the side plate, "I am in love with you. I only would want to be pregnant by you." That sounded funny. Those words coming out of my mouth. "Well, I would hope so. But we all have our battles. We'll get through it." He just didn't get it. I was such a stupid person for thinking that I was in love with Lee. I wasn't. I was hypnotized with the lust that I had for him, for two men that wanted me, but I was the same like any other slut out there. "Can we eat now? It seems like you made enough for both of us." I chuckled, "Yeah. Sorry."

Sorry. That word got used a lot around here. I hated it. Always being sorry about all the mistakes that I made. "Scarlet Ames." I was at the doctor's office already. They were able to set me up as a walk-in appointment for today at three 'o clock. "I need to confirm a pregnancy." ven though eight days late wasn't that long, just one day felt like an eternity. I just can't believe it took me eight days after I was supposed to get my monthly gift to finally get a pregnancy test. I had asked for him not to join me to this appointment. I was already nervous as it was. I had to fill out all these forms. It had questions about how many partners I've had in the past year, my height, my last period, and more. These questions made me feel a little uncomfortable, because it was so intrusive about my sex life. Every minute waiting here in the lobby that passed felt like hours had gone by.

I just wanted to know already. I know the much easier thing would've been to take one of those pregnancy tests over the counter, but Ryan and I had thought that this was the best result to get. After all, they can't be wrong. "Ames, Scarlet." I walked up to the nurse that had gathered my documents and went up to the room where they proceeded to do all of their tests. "We're going to go ahead and do a complete routine check-up." I guess there was no better time to check if I had STDs than now. "Am I pregnant?" "You're gonna have to pee in this cup first, sweetie."

I went to the restroom they had and came back with the cup almost filled. "We only needed a sample." She laughed as she used the urine sample for the tests she needed to complete. "I just want to make sure..." They took me to the exam room where I now waited for the doctor to show up. "Why hello there Scarlet. Is this your first time here?" She was a lady around her early forty's; I actually felt comfortable with her. She gave this presence of a 'motherly' vibe. "Y, Yes." I cleared my throat to not act so nervous, "I used to go to the women's clinic back home, but I just recently moved here with my boyfriend." It felt so weird saying boyfriend. Ryan and I had only been with each other for just a couple of months. I see. Well, good news. You are six weeks pregnant."

Just hearing the words made my heart melt. There was no way. No way. "We'll go ahead and set you up the follow-up appointments just to make sure that the baby is born healthy unless if you would like to go a different route?" "No, that's all. If anything I'll come back to ask more questions." This wasn't a business deal. This was my body we were talking about. Shit. What the fuck am I going to tell Ryan? Six weeks. Shit. "The ladies at the front will be more than glad to help you out." I stayed there for another hour or so to talk about what I need to eat, prenatal pills, and other baby stuff.

I came back home to Ryan who was watching football, "Hey, babe. How did it go?" He quickly stood up as I quickly sat down. "Ry..." My face dropped and I looked down so he wouldn't see my disappointed face, "Ryan, first, I want to say that I am so, so sorry for everything that happened." "You're pregnant." It wasn't even a question. Ryan had just said it. "We're going to have a baby?" We? Wait... he wants to keep it? "What if it's not yours? It's six weeks old, Ryan." "Six weeks?" Ryan put his hands up in the air out of excitement, "It's six weeks!"

I stood back, just staring at this praising to the ceiling, "Why are you so happy?" "Babe, Lee was eight weeks ago, you and I. It was you and me. Remember?" I started to make the calculations and checked my app. Oh yeah. Lee was further. So there was no way. After that, Ryan and I were like jackrabbits. "Oh my God." "We're having a baby. It's all mine." Ryan had gotten down to one knee finally getting closer to the couch, "I don't know what to say." "Ryan, how are we going to do this? We haven't been with each other for too long. And I just moved here. Plus how are we going to make this work?" I could feel the tears falling again.

Scarlet, I knew from the very first kiss at your store that I was going to marry you. Silly girl, don't you ever listen? Kitten, you're the only one for me and always will be." Was this really happening right now? "Thank you, Ryan." Does that mean I get to keep Ryan, forever? "I know it probably won't be soon, but I want to marry you. Or should I ask, Will you marry me, Scarlet Ames? Will you please make the happiest man in the world and become Mrs. Ryan Harper and let me love our child to the fullest extent?"

Ryan was at his knees, kneeling in front of me as I was siting down on the couch, "Yes. Of course. I love you, Ryan. I love you so much." Is this where we're heading now? Marriage? Wherever we were going, I didn't care. I just knew that I wanted him in my life. And now, this being inside my tummy. Yeah, things were going too fast. And yes, mistakes are mistakes. But make no mistake, I will always love my baby and Ryan. Forever."