Marriage of Necessity

~39~ Walking Through The Gully

The morning comes and my giggles stay. The sight of Matthew yesterday has settled deep into my memory, and I'll forever remember not just the sight, but the feeling.

I'll remember it as safe—The first glimpse of what life will be like for us one day.

"Oh my heavens, my bum is achin'," Matthew groans as he gets up from the bed and swings his legs over the side.

More giggles escape, and he turns to look at me. His eyebrows furrow until the crease on the bridge of his nose is deep, and he clears his throat.

"Just what do ya find so funny?"

"Nippy put a hitch in your git-along!" I wheeze as I try my best to stop my hysterical laughter.

His face fights to keep itself stern, when finally he cracks a smile and bends down towards my mouth. He softly kisses my nose, and leans closer to my ear.

"Keep it up, and I'll be puttin' a hitch in yur git-along."

~*~

Once breakfast and chores are through, Matthew clears his throat. "Jamie, you have two options—Ready for 'em?"

"Yes'um."

"Either you take Nippy back to where he came from, or I will. What'll it be?"

Jamie's chin immediately starts to quiver as his eyes fill with tears. "But Pa...We can't! We can't! Nippy won't be taken care of!"

"I ain't havin' an animal around that I can't trust. He not only hurt me, but your brother in one day. What if he goes for your sister or ma next? Or you? He ain't safe, and he ain't stayin' here."

"Please pa? I promise I'll teach him real good."

"Ya can't teach a goat, James. Who's givin' him back?"

His tears brim over and stream down his cheeks as he wipes his nose on his sleeve.

"I will."

Matthew nods. "Then ya best git on and do it before you're late to school."

"Yes'um," he sniffs as he leaves dejectedly.

"Matthew!" I hiss as he walks away.

Matthew shakes his head. "Ya think I like tearin' his heart out? I don't. That animal isn't safe. Remi is already marked up forever because of my carelessness. I ain't waitin' to see who'll be next. Don't fight me on this, woman."

I ignore the lump in my throat as I watch Jamie pull Nippy up the hill, walking sadly.

Poor little fella

~*~

Around lunchtime, Junior comes into the yard.

"Why on earth are you not in school?" I ask as I wipe my hands on my apron—I've been churning butter.

"Is Jamie here?"

"No"

Junior sighs and looks around the farm. "You sure?"

"What's wrong, Junior?"

"He ain't never showed up to school."

"Oh no!" I say as I rush to the barn to find Matthew.

When we find him, sharpening a knife on the spanking chair, he looks up at Junior. "What's wrong?"

"Jamie never came to school."

Matthew drops his knife, and for the first time since I've known the man, I see complete terror on his face.

I have NEVER seen this man afraid before, and I never want to again—It feels unnatural. Like a storm without a rainbow. An ocean without waves. Like the world isn't on its axis correctly, and we're all spinning out of control.