Marriage of Necessity

~42~ I Only See His Wrath

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MATTHEW'S POV
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This blasted wind hurts

Junior's in front of me, but I can't see him. I keep stretchin' my feet out with every step I take, makin' sure that if he falls, I'll know and can pick him up.

I hate blizzards; My poor Sophie has been terrified all day long.

I never wanted another wife. Rebecca was the one God made for me, and once she left this earth my heart went with her. The ache in my soul brought me to my knees for a long time.

Watchin' my woman die of Cholera was more than I could bear, and I vowed on her deathbed that she'd forever hold my broken, bleedin' heart.

That is, until some chatty miss came waltzin' in and forced me to dance.

Ya know what? I always liked dancin'.

We haf'ta be almost there—This wind is liable to frostbite my cheeks; I didn't get my face bundled good enough.

I feel the first step to the porch hit my boot, and I breathe a sigh of relief—But when I get up the steps, I feel like Nippy just rammed my gut clean in two.

Why is this door opened?

"PA!" Remi screams as tears flow down her cheeks. She's holdin' onto Jamie, who's wailin' so dreadfully he ain't hardly breathin'.

"What's wrong?!?!"

"She...She...MA!!!" Remi gets out.

NOOOOO

Junior immediately starts runnin' for the door when I grab ahold of his coat and stop him in his tracks.

"No—I'm goin' alone. You stay here and keep them safe!" I say, forcin' the terror from my voice.

"Pa!" He chokes out, tears already fallin' down.

I rush over and grab a cast-iron pot and a spoon, handin' it to him.

"Ya stand right here and bang on this pot till I come back. Iffin I don't get back in three minutes, ya take that rifle and start shootin' up in the air till I do. Ya hear me?"

A single nod is his only response as he takes the stuff from me and stands by the edge of the doorframe.

Lord if I die, nobody will find my youngins for days and days. Keep them safe, they're all I have.

I go out into the freezin' darkness and wonder where to start. She probably didn't get more'n a few feet—Usually when folks get lost in a blizzard, they're found close to their cabins.

The cold hits my face again, still frozen from the trip to the barn. Everythin' in me is screamin' to grab the rope, but I don't. If I'm holdin' the rope, I'll never find her.

I can't lose her, Lord—I just got her. Help me find her.

I start walkin', seein' absolutely nothin'. Even iffin I had a kerosene lamp with me, the wind woulda blown out the flame in a moment.