Mi Sueño

I Lost

Mi Sueño

 

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“When I finally know the truth about what I truly feels for her. That’s the time I learned the truth of losing her in just a blink of an eye. Without a word, without a sign, without a kick she’s losing in my hands. I lost her so quickly.”

  

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My heart stops as I walk slowly at the hall way. As if my heart won’t pump as I go nearer to that place but I couldn’t stop walking. I just go forward without anything in my mind. Because at that time, I am lost!

*smiles* *breathe deeply*

I remember something from my past where my heart stop and it is all because of this girl. The first girl I personally bought a gift for her birthday. The only first girl I cooked to make her feel fine when she got sick. And the only first girl who made my heart feels pain when I broke down her confession.

...

As I saw her walking uncomfortably, I felt that she’s a bit nervous and base from her face she seems serious and at the same time she couldn’t relax for something that I couldn’t explain. And it seems that she didn’t notice me at all!

So, I called out and waved as I smiles at her until I got closer to her.

“Jade! I’m so sorry if I’m late!” I said.

“Its fine!” she answered as it smiles at him uncomfortably. “Besides, I just came early here so you’re not really late, Kyle!” it added nervously.

“Oh!” I just answered as I rub my head with my hand. “So, what are you going to say to me, Jade?” I asked nicely.

“I...” she paused that puzzled me out.

So I stare at her and it seems that she’s a bit anxious that I worried. “Hey! Are you alright?” so I asked.

Then I notice to her that she became tougher as she looks at me then...

“I... I love you!”

*silence* *shocks*

*swallows* Darn it! What should I react? *asking himself*

Then I noticed that she too swallow before it speaks. “I know! Your shock but... it is what I truly feel for you Kyle! And I’m not–––”

“No...” I cut her off not because I don’t want to hear an explanation but because what she felt is what I felt for her. But... *sighs* “It isn’t–––”

“Right... I know!” she cuts him off quickly. “But still, I’m glad... that I told you about this feeling of mine. And I’m not here to ask you to return the feeling... I’m just here to let you know about what I do really feel for you. And I know!” it smiles bitterly as I noticed. “You have a girlfriend and I know how much you love her but despite of it I still took this chance!” it laughs but I truly feel her pain that hurting me too so badly but I couldn’t do anything to ease it. “To gamble...” I heard her added it but my mind couldn’t process things right in this moment. I just... *breathes deeply and heavily*

“Jade...” I wanted to say something but I couldn’t think a word so I became speechless. But as I watched her, she’s waiting for my answer so I forcedly turn on my voice to speak.

“I’m sorry I didn’t know what to say.” I honestly said. “I...” *breaths deeply* *head shakes* “I’m sorry...” that was all I could say to her even though my heart and soul already aching in pain I still hold on to my toughest side.

She sighs. “I expected it already!” it said but my mind shouting to let her know what I truly feel. “Well at least I know your answers...”

“Jade...” I was about to hug her but I stop myself.

“I’m just fine!” it said but as she smiles, I knew and felt that she just forcing herself. “I think I should go now!” it said afterwards.

“Wait!” I grab her wrist but to my surprised she just took it away with her free hand.

“I’m just fine, Kyle! So, there’s nothing to worry about! And... I’m... I’m so sorry if I disturb you... I... I should live now!”

I wanted to stop her but as she walks away I know that she’s already crying and reaping apart. I wanted to run through her and hug her so tight but I couldn’t do it. And until her shadow gone, I still stand there hoping for her return because if she would go back, I would never let her go!

But as the saying go, regrets won’t come at first it would always come last!

...

I dearly wish that you come first into my life. But you came last and made my heart and soul and my mind goes crazy to be with you. Although it was wrong in the first place, I still fall deeply in love with you. The only woman that I did things I never do to my girl. Now, I’m living in this pain where I am lost till forever.

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