Mi Sueño

My Self

... ... …

“Falling in love is not a crime but, falling in love with someone who’s been with someone else it loves, is a crime. That even if you fight for it harder, it won’t still be with you as long as its heart belong to someone else it loves. That I, my self, crying too deeply…!”

… … …

 

*children laughing* *clattering*

I’m at the park right now because my dear cousin gave me some time to relax and take some off for my self. And the first thing that comes up into my mind is this park near to our house and watching those children playing freely on their own it seems that they doesn’t even bother if they’ll end up tired and dirty. Because all they care for now is to enjoy their childhood as if they wouldn’t face any problem in the future. The reason why I envy those children!

Yes! If only I can go back being a child, I would go back as easily as I can and let my self stay as a child. That worries nothing, thinking nothing and far for falling deeply in love and be hurt.

*breathes deeply* *looks up in the sky*

Oh! How I wish that this pain of mine would just wash away and flows far from me so that I may able to move on. Or maybe, it would just fade quickly or I could just erase it through out of my mind, heart and soul. But! It won’t!

As the reality hits me! It hits so directly and so painful! That I hardly to breath just like before when I first learned that I’m falling deeply in love with him! Even though I know his in love with someone else, I still gamble my true feelings for him. I… I confessed my true feelings for him though…

…

“Hey! What’s wrong with you?” Maricar asked.

I stare back at her. “Nothing…” I answered plainly and blankly. Because really, I couldn’t show any emotions for now! Because it would just burst out so easily and I don’t like it!

“She’s been like that since we left her with that “Handsome Mysterious Guy” at the day of her birthday.” Toni commented while playing at her laptop.

“…” *sighs* “Come on, Toni! It’s been months now since my birthday ended and…” it’s been months since he took care of me at the summer break. Oh! How I wish to see him after that back I couldn’t mostly when I saw him being with her… his girlfriend… *hurting deeply* *stays plain and blank*

“Oh! Don’t show that face in me, Jade!” Maricar snaped.

“What…?”

“Oh, no!” *eye balls roll* “I’m going!” *stands up*

“Hey! Are you not going to wait for Araina?” Toni asked.

“Nah! I’ll just text her! Besides, this friend of us couldn’t just decide of what she would do with her feelings.” *shrugs* “Well, I couldn’t blame her…” she stares at me so meaningfully as if she’s read my mind and heart!

“What the hell are you–––’’

“Come on, Jade!” Maricar cuts me off. “I know you that much and you couldn’t just hide it from me… well…” *shrugs* “The way you stared back there… I think I sense some jealousy… though!” *sighs deeply* “I’ll live you now! Bye!”