New memories

Chapter 8

I decided that I am not leaving my room for the rest of the today and just keep avoiding Loki by staying in. "Great, I have been to Asgard almost a day now and I am already fighting with one of my brothers and the other one left with my fiancé to who knows where.", I think to myself. My plan was to just pout in my room, but I guess my stomach has a different plan. I am getting hungry and so is my little girl.

I pick up Nanna and tell Funí and Taran that we are going to go and find something to eat. They both bow and fly outside. I walk around for a while and finally end up to the kitchen. There are staff there and they look me funny when I get inside and ask if there is any food that we could have. One of the chefs come to me and asks me what I would like to eat. "You don't have to do anything for me, I can fix something up myself. Nanna usually eats just porridge and I eat what is left in the fridge, so don't worry about me.", I tell him. He smiles at me and answers, "Your highness, it's our pleasure to make you some dinner. Your brother and his assistant Deliah are already dining in the other room. Would you like to join them? We will bring you something to eat momentarily.". I tell them that we rather eat in our room. He nods and tells me that they will bring us food soon. "Is Sir Barnes joining you tonight or are the warriors still on their quest?", he asks me before I leave and I answer him with a hint of sadness in my voice, "I don't know where they are or when they are coming back. I think that it is just me and Nanna for tonight.". The chef nods and assures me that they try to be as quick as they can with our food. I tell them to not worry about it, we will be alright.

After having some dinner and putting Nanna to sleep I sat down by the window and just keep thinking about Bucky. Where are they and are they alright? How could he leave like that? At least he could have left a note or wake me up to tell me what's going on. I hope that he isn't hurt. I am deep in my thoughts when I hear a knock on the door. I ask them to come in and I see Loki walking towards me. "So, your bodyguards have left?", he asks quietly when he realizes that Nanna is sleeping, "Maybe this is a good time to talk since none of us can really shout or scream.", he continues. I laugh a little and nod to him. I tell him to sit down next to me and we start to talk. He tells me how they met with Deliah and how much she has helped him in the palace. He has grown quite fond of her. I tell him my side of what happened, and he tells me that Deliah is sorry for what happened. He says that she really was just trying to help.

We end up talking about me and Bucky. "What did you mean by 'failing relationship'? You asked me if the reason for me to hate her is my failing relationship.", I wonder out loud. Loki sighs and then looks at me. "I have just noticed that Bucky spends a lot of time here or with Thor on quests. I know that you haven't been on missions because of Nanna so you two must be separated a lot. I am worried about you and your little family, because I know that some people have seen Bucky spending a lot of time with Sif also.", he tells me. I am baffled. What does he mean by spending a lot of time with Sif? I know that Sif likes Thor, so she isn't trying anything. Is Bucky looking for someone new? Doesn't he love me anymore?

Loki realizes that he has made me think about things that I wouldn't have otherwise thought of. "I am sorry if I said something to upset you. I have just talked with Deliah, and we thought that you should know what is going on in here while you are at home with Nanna. I truly wish that everything is good between you two. You know that right?", Loki says. I look at Nanna and apparently my mind is getting along with what Loki is saying. "What if he doesn't love me anymore? He is always away, and we don't even talk like we used to. For the most of Nanna's life, her father has not been there for her. What if she ends up like me, growing up with no family?", I am now leaning on Loki's shoulder and I start to cry.

"Nanna will never grow up without family! You are there for her, so are Thor and me. You also have a family in Midgard.", he comforts me. I knew that, but lately I have questioned myself as a mother and a fiancé. What if I am doing everything wrong and that's why Bucky is never around? I know he told me that it's because of his fears and doubts, but what if it's because of me. I am now just sitting there next to Loki, sobbing. "Why didn't he wake me up before he left? We were supposed to come here to take a vacation as a family and he just left us. I feel like I am always alone with Nanna. I can't do this anymore, not like this.", I tell Loki. He hugs me and promises that everything will be alright, and that Bucky will come around. We sit there for a while and then Loki leaves me so that I can go to sleep.