Better than a Witch | A Darklina Retelling

I Did it For Him

As I sat down at dinner that night next to Nadie at the Etherealki table, I was still reeling from my secret interaction with him. Genya had returned moments after he left. I was surprised she hadn't seen him on her way, but there was no way she wouldn't have said anything. I was sleeping with him and madly in love in her mind.

Still it felt odd being back around all my peers. They kept talking like everything was normal. As if they didn't know my whole world had changed in those private moments with his hand on me. Touching me in secret.

I had known I was important to him since he cut open my hand and shot waves of light from it. I was the answer. The tool he needed to save the day and change the world. He told me so. I was his sun summoner. So when he told me about the magical stag amplifier in the woods, I knew why he needed me to have it. I was weak. He needed me strong. He spoke to me because I was the means to an end. An end of the fold. An end of Grisha oppression.

But today it changed.

He confirmed it was something more. I played back in my mind his thumb making those soft circles against me. I could almost hear his warm deep voice against my ear. Something had happened, and I had to pretend like nothing did.

My only comfort was in the fact that he never showed at any of the mandatory dinners. We were supposed to have them to bond with the others. As if all the training and a million other forced interactions of living with one another in the small tucked away palace wasn't enough. He wanted us to eat, sleep, and breathe together. To make us fight harder on the lines because we knew what and who we were fighting for. That's also part of the reason we had such crummy food. To remember what it's like outside of the Palace walls.

But the General himself never ate with his soldiers. Sometimes he would briskly walk by during a meal. The room would quiet, all eyes on him. He never spared a second glance. He would walk right past the head table that always sat empty and flee behind the double dark wood doors into his chambers.

Today it was a quiet sort of relief though. Knowing I could just sit with my peers. The conversation rattled on about the weather, training, and the war. I was a part of it all. Just another member of the table. Just another friend.

"Hey, you, the Darkling's bitch."

My head snapped up from the table. Standing in front of me was a Fabrikator. I didn't even know her name, but she was clenching her fists like she was ready to swing at me. The whole room went silent. I could feel my friends beside me still.

"Who are you even talking to?" I asked with a tilt of my head. My voice was even and I hoped it came off as more of a threat than just mortified anger.

"Nobody special," she spat. A drop of it hit my food. "That's why I can't believe the General has us working overtime. For you."

I was sure I had turned red. I didn't know what she was talking about but I was sure I wouldn't like it. At least she didn't know about what had happened in that private box. My heart almost beat out of my chest thinking she might.

"Didn't you hear?" started a Corporalki from the table over by the right side of the empty one. "He needs weapons made specially for her to make up for how weak she is."

I stood up ready to flee. I could feel those saints-awful tears building behind my eyelids; I dared not to blink. This wasn't fair. I had been doing so well. My powers were growing, couldn't people see that? Didn't it matter to anyone that things had finally been going right. That I finally wasn't an outsider.

Fuck them.

My fist flung before I even thought. It led with the heat of light. Her skin bubbled and burned. I didn't even know her name. I didn't even care. She was on the ground sobbing. A healer rushed to her. I barely noticed.

Why did they have to take the Little Palace away from me? I was meant to be here. I wanted to fit in with everyone else. I am strong. Can't they see that? I needed to make them understand. They needed to know I was one of them. That I was more than my connection to the Darkling. I wanted to have it all, but not today.

I was two steps away from my seat. The room was chaos. The girl was still crying. The healer had to be half way done by now. She should just shut up. Her burn was nothing compared to my anger. I could feel all eyes on me, and then they weren't.

"See," he said. "This is why I don't come to dinner."

It had only taken seconds for the room to be still. Then two moments more, everyone was back in their seats staring quietly at their food. The Fabrikator still had half a burn scar on her face. The healer had stopped as soon as the Darkling had walked in.

He hadn't said anything more about the scene. In fact, some wondered if he had even noticed amongst the chaos the heat in my hand or the burn on her face. It wasn't until many nights later that I learned he had been standing by the doorway when the Fabrikator had approached me. Watching.

He was planning on intervening immediately, but didn't want to reinforce their thoughts. Instead, he planned in those moments what he was going to do after. He would wait for my reaction. Maybe wait for the laughter to die down. Then he would shut it down. Enter the room like nothing happened. Then, late that night, he was going to make the Fabrikator pay for speaking to me that way. In those quick moments he had fantasized what he would do to her as punishment. Then I did it for him.

"I have two announcements to make," the Darkling drawled in the silence. "If you are all ready to listen and done being children."

The silence was his answer.

"Upcoming is the King and Queen's Fete. We will be putting on a display of power. Our dear, old king wants to see us be strong for him" His words dripped in mockery as he spoke. It was good none of the royal attendants were around. He could be killed for such an apparent insult to the royals in public. If they would even dare to touch someone as powerful as the Darkling.

It was said that he simply walked up to the Palace one day and demanded to be seen by the King. When the guards laughed at his face, he turned into a shadow and crept along the walls into the King's own chambers. It was there, staring at the King who was naked in the bath, dead in the eyes, that he demanded the position of general of the second army. He was untouchable.

"Each order will do their own personal show, in order of strength. Then Alina and I shall end with a finale to show the world how only we together will destroy the fold. We will save all Grisha. Just Alina and I."