Better than a Witch | A Darklina Retelling

A Hidden Affair

The next weeks were exhilarating.

I wasn't the one crawling in the back of training while everyone watched with pity. I was able to do the required amount of running without collapsing, and eventually, I began to train with the others. Every day I could feel myself getting stronger.

I began to speak up at meals, go to events with my peers, and enjoy myself. I never experienced life so simply before. I was just another member of the Second Army. I lived in the Little Palace that was slowly becoming a home and wore my kefta with pride.

Each lesson with Botkin I got better. I began to spar with the Fabrikators and train by the lake with the Etherealki. The motions became easier and the things I struggled with committing to when I first arrived became basic muscle memory.

One session, in the cold months of winter I finally managed to jab an elbow into Botkin's side. It wasn't a victory, and didn't even hurt him much. In fact, he threw me on the ground afterwards so hard I had bruises up my back that the Healers tenderly worked on. But none of that mattered.

"Girl," he had called to me as I sorely stood up again. "Keep this with you. Always." He handed me a knife in heavy steel. Grisha steel.

"Thank you," I said. The steel was the perfect amount of weight in my hand as I stared at it enchanted.

"No," Botkin replied stiffly. "Steel is earned."

Then he walked away without another word, but it didn't matter. The accomplishment shone on my face and on my thigh as I sheathed the knife. I was becoming a part of something.

#

My training with Baghra hadn't been so easy. If anything, it became worse. She seemed urgant now. Every mistake was twice a blow, and every success was something that wasn't coming quick enough. It felt like she was afraid of something. As if my time at the Little Palace was more limited than I believed. It was beyond frustrating.

"Please," I huffed angrily. "I am trying."

"No," Bagrha replied shortly. "You are simply doing. Do you have no connection to your powers?"

I just rolled my eyes. The same speech every session. As if I would be able to make mountains move if I just spent some quality time with my light. Maybe take it out to dinner. Then it would obey my every will.

"You're stupid."

"Thank you," I answered. It was tiring working with her all the time.

She made me work twice the hours as anyone else. Every day I had to rise with the sun to "better connect with it." As if my ability were the actual sun itself. Then I would spend hours with her calling upon it, shaping it, and sending it out. Muscle memory. A tool easy to access. It should always be there, not something to reach for.

Again. And again. And again.

"I am trying," I burst once. "Can't you see that?" There were light tears falling softly down my cheeks from the exhaustion of it all.

"Yes," she replied. Then it was quiet in the small hut of hers as we looked at one another. Her face was still for once but her eyes told a million stories. She felt pity, and fear. The urgency that showed its face in every action, every lesson, and every whip of her cane faded like the sun.

But it was replaced with something much worse- dread. What she said next would continue to haunt me for much longer than she did.

"That's what I am afraid of."

#

"Get her Alina!" Genya called from one of the many viewing boxes that wrapped around the training arena we were in today. Along with her was Marie who stayed quiet throughout the fight. She probably just didn't want to pick a side between me and her boyfriend Segei, one of the best Infernis. Whose fists I dunked under as it flew my way. I used the movement to throw my own at his body. Nailing it right in the center of his stomach so we both fell over. It was messy, but it worked. Like most of my training.