After Olivia

27

The off-white glow of the overhead light cast a shadow over the linoleum between a stack of boxes and the apartment door. A violet-coloured suitcase, stuffed full of clothing sat against the wall a little further in, with a few garment bags draped over top. The bag containing a wedding dress had already made the trip beyond the doorway while Bill was distracted with other things.

Bill placed a box on the stack, then gazed at the two feet of space that remained between the last of Olivia's belongings and the threshold. He couldn't shake the feeling that tore at his heart, as if he was evicting her from his life. There were no half measures. Every piece of her clothing had been packed away. No bottles of fragrance were left on the dresser. No jewelry left hidden in the night table drawer, saved for the rings that symbolized a bond that existed long before they were crafted.

Emily stepped up beside him to add a final box to the pile then wrapped her arm around his and leaned into him as she gazed at that same two feet of flooring. There was nothing she could say at that moment that would make any part of this easier, so she remained silent. She could feel his body trembling and leaned her head against his shoulder.

So many times, over the previous three years, Emily's touch would play that trick on Bill's mind that had him imagine it was Olivia by his side. This was not such a day. The boxes in front of him were a cruel reminder of the absence of the woman he had loved even before he understood what that love could be. He wanted to put everything back in its place. Empty the boxes and keep her with him a while longer.

The door swung open across that void, shaking Bill out the aching gaze. Patrick started in through the entry and paused. Emily lifted her head and replaced it with a caring hand on his shoulder, slowly moving her body away from his until her arm had released his completely. She started towards the kitchen but kept her eyes fixed on her friend. Her mother stepped up behind her and halted her movement with a touch on her shoulder. "That's the last of it."

Patrick passed a box of toothpaste to Bill then said, "I got you mint with whitening action."

Bill gazed new toothpaste then turned his eyes towards the boxes to his left, where an unopened tube of cinnamon toothpaste had been stowed when the bathroom was cleaned out. He turned his attention back to Patrick and thanked him for making the quick trip to the store across the street then felt himself being pulled into a tight hug as Patrick whispered, "You're gonna be okay, son."

Emily's nose tingled with the sting of pending tears while she watched Bill sob into Patrick's shoulder. Her mother's voice whispered in her ear as a garbage bag was pushed into her hand. "Collect the stuff from the bathroom garbage pail before he goes in there."

Emily slipped into the hall and scurried towards the bathroom. She lifted the garbage pail and watched the contents slide into the open bag. A toothbrush and assorted items were followed by a partial tube of toothpaste and an opened pregnancy test kit, with one remaining test strip inside. She sat herself on the edge of the tub and looked into the bag at the pink and blue box. She recalled sitting in that very spot while she and Olivia waited for the results, their bodies trembling with excited anticipation. She couldn't forget the pain of watching as Olivia's smiled faded to disappointment.

"Maybe it's wrong. You have one more test," she said to Olivia as she rubbed her back.

"It's okay. It's for the best. We're supposed to have babies at the same time, and Roger isn't ready to take care of fish, so..." Olivia said through her tears.

"He still isn't," Emily mumbled as she closed the bag and returned to the apartment entry.

"Bill come and help me put the leftovers in the fridge. Emily can help Patrick take those down to the van," Rachel said as her hand reached and took him by the elbow.