Write Or Fight

Day 22

Written by itstilliswhatitis

Louis!

Please answer your phone. Let me explain.

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Lou,

Call me back!

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Louis,

Come on! Don't be like this. Please!

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Louis,

For the love of God stop ignoring me! I've called you 20 times. Answer the damn phone!

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Lou,

Please sweetie, just call me. I can't take this. I need to talk to you.

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Louis,
I haven't slept. Please, I love you and we need to sort this out. Call me!

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You know what Louis? No.

Your behavior is unacceptable! I rather have you yelling at me than giving me the silent treatment. I don't deserve that. For fucks sake, grow up! You're supposed to be an adult and I am supposed to be the love of your life. You can't treat me like this.

You have every right to be upset and hurt. I messed up. I hurt you. But you have to talk to me about it, give me the benefit of a doubt. I didn't do it on purpose! I tried to protect you from unnecessary pain. My management demanded a kiss but I was able to talk them out of making it public and then I decided to spare you. I'm sorry, love. I should have told you. Now it looks like I was hiding something.

I'm not perfect. You put me so high up on a pedestal that it's such a long way down when I crash, when I mess up. It ruins me, Louis. This is one of the reasons I had one foot out the door. I can't handle this. We were doing great. I really thought that things would be different this time and it makes me so incredibly sad. I don't think you realize how much this hurts me, the silence. It feels like I'm suffocating.

I'm so sorry about the pictures and for not telling you. I really am. It didn't mean anything. Just another stunt kiss with yet another stunt girl. I only want to kiss you.

I know that it looks really bad. I understand that you probably feel like I cheated on you since kissing wasn't part of the contract, and you have every right to be pissed off. Your feelings are valid. You can be mad at me, angry, hurt, sad, and upset. I deserve that. I take full responsibility for my actions, for not telling you, but Louis, I would NEVER cheat on you.

Those photos aren't secret kisses caught on camera. It was planned and my management called paparazzi. I agreed to it because I was fed up with them breathing down my neck. I thought that if I gave them that I could use it to my advantage and get them to agree on something else. I didn't tell you because we were fighting so much and I didn't want to give us another thing to fight about. I was a coward. I regretted it and I got Jeff to agree to not publish those photos. I already said this.

I'm not trying to sweet talk myself out of this. I did something wrong and I hurt you but you have to let me apologize. Don't shut me out like this. You have to give me the chance to make it better, to make up for my mistake.

So please call me.

I love you even when you tell me to go fuck myself.

Harry