Newsies Small Oneshots

Comedy gold

tw, swears, s..c.dal thought, self h.rm, word b.rn used, impulsive behaviour, v..lence, bl..ch, b.lemia, caps, and a load of crap goes down whoo <3 

holy hell this is dark buuuut..... 

Fuck life and every thing in it. Fuck Uncle, Fuck Morris, Fuck the newsies, Fuck Crutchie and especially Fuck Jack. 

No. Take it back. Fuck FEELINGS for Crutchie. Crutchies done nothing. 

Robyn took off his headphones after looking at the time on their screen. 2 am. 

He put down the piece of glass somewhere he knew he would find it easily to wash his hands. The water got into his cuts as they winced. That shit stung. They wanted to burn something so bad. Just let everything reduce to ashes. Or at least break something.

They looked at themselves in the mirror and immediately looked away, wanting to cry, knowing they wouldn't. Couldn't. Add emotions to the fuck list. 

After climbing back into bed, he put his headphones back on with a blank expression. 

~flashback~

"Im sorry. Its not your fault."

Robyn nodded. He knew it was coming sooner or later. "I agree. We should remain friends." 

He hid how he was feeling and told himself no one loved him for long. 

Months later he found out why Morris had dumped him. 

"You never even loved me."

"I cared, Day. I still do-"

Davey took none of his shit. He KNEW he had known how he was feeling. How his arms were all slashed up. 

But hadn't he rushed to his side when HE was feeling down? 

Robyn walked away, tired and hurt. 

~End of flashback~

 Robyn picked up the shard of glass. Slowly, they dragged it across their arm. "I deserve it." they thought, putting more pressure on the glass. "I fucking deserve more pain."

~flashback~

"I told you not to read it."

Robyns uncle scowled. "I didn't read your damn diary."

That was pathetic as there was fucking proof in picture.

Robyn copied his look. "Do you even remember what was in it?" 

Stuff like him being gay (with his uncle being homophobic). Stuff like him being suicidal. Stuff like his self harm scars. Stuff like his feelings for Morris, angrily and tearfully scribbled to be replaced with Crutchie months later. 

He thought. Nothing came to mind. "I forgot." he laughed. 

Robyn felt like they were stabbed. They laughed bitterly along. "Hilarious." tears pricked at their eyes as they stormed out.

They had another urge to tear at their skin. Suicide was fucking comedy gold. His uncle thought so. Jack thought so. Bleach was a hilarious topic to ignore him to, trying to talk to him. As a joke. All of this was a joke. 

He shook, tears flowing out of his eyes. Finally, release of emotions. 

~ another flashback~

Robyn stood upright. His puke tasted acidic. He shoved three fingers down his throat again and threw up, doubling over. Food was overrated. He went over to the sink and washed his hands, taking a singular pill. It was bitter on his tongue.  Not an overdose, just enough to make him feel sick. He couldn't find the rest anyways. 

~another flashback~

"Why aren't you talking to us?"

Robyn froze. "Jack?"

"Davey, do you hate us?"

"Robyn." they said in a quiet voice. They weren't out as demiboy yet. 

Jack didn't hear. "Davey, why dyou hate us?"

"Its Robyn."

"Why do you hate us Davey?!"

"I SAID ITS ROBYN!"

He jumped up, snapping his eyes open. Oh thank goodness it was a dream. 

Not that he hadn't been avoiding the newsies. He didn't want to be a burden to them. And no one took him seriously when he wanted to change his name. He sighed. Might as well have been a reality. 

He thought. Would anyone miss me? There's Les. But hes too young to understand. The newsies won't care. They hate me. Don't they? 

~end of flashback~

His fingers wrapped around a blade again. 

"I wanna go back." they thought. "I wanna go back. I wanna die. Im selfish. Im worthless and untalented and ugly as fuck. Gosh damnit help me.  No. Kill me. Just end me."

They closed their eyes, hoping to never open them again. 

~flashback~

"In honesty, you don't even act depressed!"

Robyns eyes widened as e thought of the many MANY times his uncle had verbally spat on him for being sad all the time. Without thinking the hit the nearest thing to him.

Les.

His eyes welled up in guilt, anger and self-hatred. 

"Les... I didnt mean to..." he let out a sob, to his frustration. 

Les smiled. That was Les for you. ALWAYS forgiving. But Robyn? A piece of shit, a fuckup. Worthless. 

He stormed upstairs for the millionth time and started crying hard. Usually they would do eyeliner for some stupid reason. They didnt know how it made them feel ok, but it did. 

But he wasnt going to this time. This time he was relapsing and throwing the blade around their room.

~end of flashback~

They held up the pills and smiled slightly. Finally. Everyone could laugh all they wanted at their funeral, suicide seemed hilarious when he was alive, right? All he wanted was to be held, but the world fucked him up. "Bye, then. Dont act like youd miss me."