Pity the Flowers:POVs Endeavor x femreader!

Extra: some things don't change with Enji

pov: some things don't change with Enji
genre: angst

You stared into troubled eyes reflected in the mirror. You knew what hounded you, what needled in your mind more than anything. Enji's dispute to keep the growing life inside your belly- you couldn't strike it away from your mind.

Uneven footsteps sounded in the hall, and you tensed, listening over the wild hammering of your heart. Would he return to your side? Or was he gonna stand by the side of your bed, watch you sleep, and then leave the space next to you empty again?

The steps halted at your door, and the shoji slid wide. Enji trudged across the threshold, his jaw set, his eyes hard, his brows furrowed. A moment stretched longer as his eyes bore into you, and you could find no strength in your limbs. The night lamp by your bedside table silhouetted your shape through the thin, loosely, flowing nightgown, and his eyes ravished the contours revealed by the meager light.

Your breath trembled in fury as you waited, then he walked closer, spurring you to seek the doubtful restraint of your robe.

"Don't you have something to say to me?" You moved past him to slide the shoji shut. His eyes followed you, and you returned to bed, where you sat cautiously by the edge to ease the trembling of your limbs.

In a half-hearted attempt to set aside the issue and make peace with you, Enji tried a gentle approach. "I know you're mad-"

"Oh?" Your sarcastic one-word query chafed.

"But have you any discernment how dangerous it is to go through pregnancy at our age?"

You looked at him askance. "Asking me that is the same as treating me like a child, Enji."

"It's either that, or your ignorance." Despite his care, his words wounded coarse and curt, and he berated himself as he saw your chin raise slightly in defiance.

"What do you want me to do? Have this child killed?"

"It. Not a child yet," he murmured distantly.

You raise your brows and stared at him in disbelief. "Not a child? Seriously Enji? You're way too old to be told that you should've thought about this before you knocked me up!"

He lets out an explicit curse on your name; sudden and explosive, startling you. He unfastens his bracers and flung them to the floor in anger. "Didn't you hear what the doctor said? This could be an ectopic pregnancy which is damn life-threatening! Life. Threatening."

"Yes. Along with preeclampsia, gestational diabetes, postpartum hemorrhage, and hysterectomy-as well as c-section deliveries." You sat still, tensed at holding your ground. "All pregnancy have that risk. It just so happens that the percentage is higher with my age."

"You're being fucking ridiculous!" His tone harsh. "We already have kids! Touya, Fuyumi and Natsuo! We don't need another one! Especially not with the risk it entails! You damn stubborn shrew of a wife!"

"Enji..."

He refused to meet your gaze and glanced restlessly about the room.

"I'm tired of fighting," you said softly, folding the flap of your robe over your knees. "I'm sorry but I still wanna keep the baby-"

"And what?! Have me watch you kill yourself to give birth to it?! You would put me in the very same position as I did years ago?"

"Enji, you're being unfair."

"Unfair? I'm being unfair? Do you even hear yourself?"

"It's different. That was an accident. This is a choice."

"With the same fucking outcome! I lost you then, and if you go on with this pregnancy, I might lose you forever. I won't take that risk." His eyes raked over you, making you acutely aware of the scantiness of your garb. His voice deepened. "I can't raise another child without you. I won't do it. I won't. Not if this child is the reason why I'll lose you. You can't just have a kid and leave the parenting all to me."

The sting of his words immediately brought you to your feet, and you faced him with eyes as frigid as snow, striding irately about the room.

"What would you have me do, Enji? Have a miscarriage? This is my body and you don't get a–"

Enji cut you off with a snarl. "I have a say as it's my sperm."

"Why can't you just support me in this?" You demanded, whirling to meet his gaze. "The doctor has also assured us that if we do it right, the baby and I will be safe."

"Safe, bah! With your rotten luck–"

"Enough!" Your voice was sharp as you realized how he wouldn't relent.

"I went through hell for a decade!" He raged on. "Is it fun for you to put me in the very same torment of not knowing whether you'd live or die? Are you that cruel?"

"How can you say that? This is your child too. You're trying to kill our  child! And–" you touch your stomach absentmindedly. "– I feel like this is my second chance to be a mother. I missed alot of those scenarios, like catching them skipping school or having to look the other way because you wouldn't be too hard when you lecture them."

"Kami..." He laughed caustically. "And if you die? You would have me pick up the pieces all by myself again? Break our kids' hearts– break mine and I'd have to raise another? Haven't I gone through enough?" His voice was hoarse and cracked. His eyes blazed fiercely with the battle seething in him. He was saying things that he didn't mean. A child with you is something he cherishes but what if that very same child cost you your life? To be put in that situation, to be put into trial whether he'd cherish the very same child who killed you... "I would hate that child. I would want it out of my sight. I'd pretend it didn't exist. I'd loathe–"

Whaap!

The sound of your hand striking his cheek echoed in the room. "You won't change my mind, Enji."

---
AN:

in the enji angst au, reader died.