Escape is Only Temporary [boyxboy]

Chapter XI

~Saturday 4th June 2016~

Shepherd had never been a fan of funerals. Who was really? It was worse for him. He could feel the low energies around him, throbbing miserably, worsening the subtle ache within that would always present around those that had already passed. Shepherd had been to too many funerals in his short life, despite not having lost so many of his own friends. He was there to bless the bodies, to sever the tether that held the soul to that vessel and ensure that it drifted off elsewhere in the universe. And, no matter how much he hated it, he had to perform those rituals. It was a part of who he was, so he just had to suck it up and get on with it.

That day was no different. Porter's funeral hadn't been something that Shepherd had looked forward to. He didn't want to watch the sendoff of his fiance, nor did he wish to speak with any of the dryads within Porter's tribe. He still blamed himself. Porter had been in the store that night because of him, he had called the man down to watch over Snowden whilst he dealt with Kai and Reece. If he had just trusted his gut and woken Snowden, brought him into the front of the store so that he could keep an eye on him, Porter would still be alive. Then again, Shepherd didn't think that would make life any easier. The assassin would have still been there, bloodshed wouldn't have been avoided.

Whether it was due to the bond having broken between himself and Porter, or some other force, Shepherd was beginning to notice a connection with Reece. It had always been there in reality, he had simply been able to ignore the subtle pull toward the man for so many years because of everything else he had to deal with. The twins. Porter. His career. They were big enough distractions to have him forgetting about the alpha he had spent three days with all those years ago.

But he didn't have those anymore. His mind was allowed to wander free, and he was beginning to indulge in fantasies that he shouldn't have. Even on the morning of his fiance's funeral, he was thinking of Reece. He had accidentally walked in on Reece changing after a shower, shirtless, water droplets still lining his shoulders and glinting in the light as he moved. Shepherd hadn't said anything, he wasn't even sure that Reece had noticed his presence. He just stepped right back out of the bedroom and tried to shift his mind from the scene. It was too late. The moment was burnt into his brain and the image was never going to falter. He knew that. It was going to remain within his mind for the rest of eternity as a meager temptation.

Having had so much time to himself lately, Shepherd had given his connection with Reece a lot of thought. He knew there was something there, something weighing heavily in the pit of his heart, an old flame still smoldering from all those years ago. In his youth, that flame had been smothered by fear. Even after he ran from Reece that morning, the fear hadn't dwindled, and it worsened when he found out he was bearing the alpha's pups. For years, he remained terrified. Quietly petrified that, one day, the beast would return to claim what was rightfully his.

Yet, now that Reece was here, Shepherd knew his mind had only fabricated the monster that he had been so afraid of. Reece was gentle and caring, constantly checking on Shepherd, wanting him to be comfortable and happy. And Shepherd was happy. With Reece, he was the happiest he had been in a long time. But that didn't change anything. He wasn't ready to explore his feelings toward Reece yet, it wasn't right, not when he had lost Porter so suddenly. He needed time to grieve before he could open himself up to the wolf.

Reece was patient. No matter whether Shepherd could sense the feelings the man had or not, he was waiting. He prided himself with acting caring, the doting father and kind friend. Underneath it, Shepherd could see through the cracks. He saw what Reece wanted, it wasn't exactly hidden. Still, a part of him remained distrustful of the wolf. There were too many coincidences, too many instances that just didn't add up. For the time being, Shepherd remained quiet, keeping his thoughts to himself and trying to focus on the task at hand. Once Porter was gone, truly and wholeheartedly, Shepherd could deal with the wolf lingering at his heel.