Escape is Only Temporary [boyxboy]

Chapter XXXII

 ~Sunday 31st July 2016~

The last twenty-four hours had been hell. From the moment that Kai had taken that call, it was as though the end had begun. The drive back to Reece's territory had been agonising, and the night spent in the forest searching for Shepherd was even worse. Reece wasn't coping well, which was expected. Yet, his ferocity was more horrifying than not. His temper was shot, his patience depleted and control nonexistent. The glow of his eyes was the first sign, his fangs were the second. Cameron had warned that erratic shifting patterns would next, and that was when he would need to be sedated. Before the terror killed him.

"Kai?" The boy's head snapped up, eyes lifting from where they had been settled over his hands in his lap, finding Cameron lingering in his bedroom doorway. With a curt nod, she entered the room, leaning against the dresser to keep her distance from Kai, her creamy scent putting the boy at ease. He wanted to offer for her to sit on the bed, however, he knew it would leave that awful prickling feeling over his skin if he did. Nesting bothered him. Even though he and Beau shared a more complete nest at his house, he still couldn't bear for his bedroom to be invaded by any other scents. Kai didn't see the point, it wasn't like they could have pups anyway. There was no need for a damn nest.

"How're you doing?" Kai could think of a thousand different answers, all culminating around the dread rooted deep within him. Whoever stated that there were seven stages of grief was wrong. They didn't come in stages. They hit all at once and they hit hard. Kai knew it shouldn't have been grief that he was feeling, it wasn't like a body had been found. Shepherd was still out there, he was a fighter, he would be OK. If not... Well, Kai really didn't know what he would do then.

"Shitty," sometimes, Kai would try to smile. Earlier, in the bathroom, he had tried. He stared at his reflection, trying his hardest, but it didn't look right. He had never tried to force happiness before. He had never needed to. Shepherd was always the one to put on a brave face. Through Porter's death, then Juda's too. Shepherd was the strong one. Kai would never be able to live up to that.

"You don't have to do this, y'know? Garrett can stand in as alpha for him, you don't need to put yourself through this," bizarrely, turning to leadership had felt natural to Kai. Whilst his father was either out searching all hours of the day until he made himself sick, or drinking himself to death, Kai was taking care of the pack. Not exclusively, of course. Cameron was helping where she could, as was Beau, but Kai honestly felt as though his time as alpha had begun. And it felt right.

"I'll have to be alpha one day, why not start now?" Reminded of his father, Kai hung his head once again, "is he still drinking?" Apparently, drinking ran in the family. Kai's grandfather was the same, drinking in times of stress, drowning himself when the responsibility was too much to handle. According to Cameron, Reece had never been like this before. He was vehement that alcohol wasn't the answer, that he didn't want to become his own father and, yet, here he was, a perfect image of the man.

"I think so. Beau tried to talk to him but..." considering how Reece had already beaten Beau half to death for not calling about Shepherd's disappearance immediately, Kai hadn't expected his father to be any more cooperative about the man trying to take his 'coping mechanism' from him. Kai hoped his alcohol binge would end later that day, he couldn't bear to be around the man when he was acting so recklessly.

"Is he alright?" Kai might have stood there and watched whilst his father beat his mate but that didn't mean he didn't care. He was pissed off, just as much as Reece, and Beau had faced the brunt of it. So far, Kai had yet to feel guilty for not stopping his father. Beau deserved it. He should have damn well called and, if Shepherd wasn't found, Kai wasn't sure he would ever be able to forgive the man.

"Ari patched him up. He has a few more cracked ribs but he's still up," Cameron hesitated for a moment, resting a hand on her stomach absently, "don't you want to see him?" Despite the soft tone, Kai could still sense the judgement in Cameron's voice. She was close to Beau, it made sense that she was on his side. Kai shook his head, rubbing the back of his neck, a pulse of agony striking when his fingers touched the arching scar that lingered so prominently.