Escape is Only Temporary [boyxboy]

Chapter XVII

 ~Monday 20th June 2016~

"Are you sure you're going to be OK here? I could stay if you want me to," Shepherd rolled his eyes playfully, having heard that worried comment too many times that evening. Reece had never been so clingy before, nor had he doubted Shepherd's safety with Juda. It had to have been the full moon. It was putting him on edge, making him question his judgment. Shepherd didn't mind really, it was nice to know that Reece cared so much.

"I'll be fine," Shepherd continued folding t-shirts, having found that that was the only way that Reece would allow him to help around the suite. He tried to clean, Reece told him there were maids for that. He tried to cook, Reece insisted they got takeout instead. Anything Shepherd did as some semblance of repaying the man for his concern, he was never allowed to complete if Reece found him. At least that night he could cook dinner without Reece breathing down his neck. He would have to speak to the man about his overprotective tendencies if they were to live together with his pack, it would drive Shepherd mad otherwise.

"Pup, just tell me if you want me to stay. I don't mind," it was almost as though Reece wanted to stay that night, yet was unwilling to actually say so. Shepherd had no issues either way. He was happy to have all four of the wolves there in the suite with him that night, but then he would have to deal with them being restless until the next full moon. Like him, they had rituals. The hunt, it was bred into their bones, clawing at their souls constantly. They needed it. Shepherd would be awfully selfish if he were to prevent all four of them from giving in to their wolves that night. It was bad enough that Juda would miss out on the festivities, Shepherd didn't need any added guilt.

"Reece," Shepherd's tone became firm as he turned to face the nervous wolf, wearing a slightly strained smile, "if you want to stay, then stay. If you want to go run with Aris and Tavien, I have no problem with that. In fact, I would prefer it, otherwise you're just going to pester me all night. So go. Even married couples need time apart from one another every once in a while. I need time apart, alright?" Reece looked more hurt by that comment than Shepherd had intended. He wanted the mood to remain light, however, he had forgotten how self-conscious Reece had gotten over the years. The man that Shepherd had met when he was still young had been more forceful. He was considerate, yes, but he took what he wanted to, without questions asked. Now, Reece was acting more unsure than ever. He wasn't putting the comfort and safety of his pack first, he was only caring for Shepherd. A nice sentiment, if it wasn't detrimental to his position as alpha.

"We'll be back after midnight," Reece muttered sullenly, refusing to meet Shepherd's eye, "call me if you need anything," with that, Reece disappeared. Shepherd listened as he walked down the hallway to the living area, then entered the elevator with Aris and Tavien, then... Then he was gone. Shepherd sighed heavily, sitting on the edge of the bed and staring down at the t-shirt in his hands. Maybe he was too harsh. Maybe what Reece really wanted was to stay. For Shepherd to ask him to stay.

Reece could be awfully cryptic sometimes. He overthought everything. Instead of just saying what he wanted to, he waited for Shepherd to pick apart his intentions. He was afraid, that was obvious enough. He was afraid to tell Shepherd how he felt, he was afraid to make the first move, he was just afraid of everything. Shepherd could understand, even if it did infuriate him. When Reece acted that way, it made him miss the simplicity of his engagement to Porter.

The dryad had always been blunt. He said what he meant and he was unapologetic about it. Often, that led to some pretty vicious arguments between the two but at least Shepherd knew where he stood. With Reece, it was just so much more complex. It was exhausting to constantly think, rather than just feel. Shepherd knew he was being just as cowardly. Conversations went both ways, and he was just as unwilling to admit his feelings. However, he had a different reason. He wasn't afraid of fucking up whatever relationship he was building with Reece, he was afraid of losing the man again. He was afraid of being alone.