Glued

Déjà vu

Tubbo finally got the silence he wanted, and the space he needed. He felt guilty for not inviting Tommy. He didn't invite Tommy for a reason, he wanted some alone time with only him and Ranboo. He realized how many times Tommy has been appearing in situations when he's with his other friends, it was like Tommy was his tail, following him everywhere he goes. Tubbo, as years flew by, eventually got tired of it. It felt like he had no personal space, nor time for himself.

But he didn't, and never hated Tommy.

Despite Tommy getting very close with Tubbo, he was still a very good friend. Though he can be annoying sometimes.

When someone was bullying, or even teasing Tubbo, he'd always chime in and tell them off. Of course Tubbo appreciated that, but it felt like he was helpless, like he couldn't do anything himself. He felt like he was weak, and was needed to be protected because Tommy was always there to protect him, but has he ever defended Tommy against people? No, he never did. But even if he really wanted to, he couldn't. He was scared. That's why Tommy's always there for him, literally.

Tommy didn't care whether it would get him in trouble, all he ever wanted was to be there for Tubbo. He was always jumping in situations he wasn't supposed to be involved in without thinking of the consequences. But if he did get in trouble, he wouldn't care, he's used to it. After all, he's commonly known as the "problem child" in the school for starting fights so often.

Tubbo chuckled as he sniffed, forcing a smile to appear in his face. "Tommy you reckless bastard.. Always jumping infront of me to threaten the person bullying me when I never called you for help."

His short-lasting laughter stopped as tears raced down his face.

"Do I really look like I need help? Am I.. weak..? Am I defenseless? What made you think like I need help anyway? I've never got a chance to defend myself.. but, denying you wouldn't feel right. Everytime I ask you how you got here, you'd come up with stupid excuses that I'm fucking sick of. What even gets you pumped up to defend me? Have I done anything good to you? I never defended you, I was just like, behind you all the time. You were an annoyingly aggressive child, and everyone got used to that, but why, even your friend for a long time, why would you always bring me down? Wh- why—"

Tubbo stopped midway finishing, he took deep breaths desperately as he cried loudly. He was glad that his room was sound-proof so no one would hear him, his parents added it to his room because of Tommy and Tubbo's night calls, screaming, yelling, and swearing.

Every night, Tubbo would expect a phone call from Tommy, and if he didn't answer, he expects to see atleast 20 missed calls. There were sometimes where Tubbo had to decline the call and come up with a reason, he wanted to rest and have time for himself. The attention that Tommy was giving him was too much, to the point where he thinks Tommy is obsessed, yet is denying it.

They've had minor fights, that meant nothing in the end. Tommy said he would change, but now he realized, he remained the same way. Tommy, ever since the beginning, had never changed. He was still the passive-aggressive Tommy, with an explosive personality. A reckless brat, it would be a miracle if he learned to discipline himself. His parents are sick of getting complaints about their son, Tommy. Every parent-teacher conference, the teacher would always mention Tommy's bad behaviour. Always getting late to class, skipping, hiding the teacher's chalk, and not doing his homework. They have scolded him many times, but it doesn't seem effective. He doesn't listen to anyone, and he thinks he's his own boss.

But as he grew older, he started listening to other people, yet still trusts his own guts.

When he met Tubbo, he felt unbearable kindness that he never felt before. With Tommy's aggressiveness, no one dared to be friends with him, so everyone was like his rivals in everything. Tubbo however, didn't care whether he was aggressive or not, he just wanted to be friends. His friend before Tommy left town years ago, he said he'll contact him, but he never even went online. He never responded to Tubbo's texts, nor look at them. Tubbo lost hope, he knew that he didn't like him anymore.

He looked like a fool, waiting for his friend to respond when the other was a backstabber. Tubbo was always there for him, praising and supporting him, but his old friend, used it to his advantage. He promised Tubbo to never leave his side, but everything he did was to lie, there wasn't a moment where he was honest with him.

Tubbo gave up, he moved on and forgot about his old friend. He didn't care about him anymore, his heart became stone-cold towards him.

Should I just give up on him? I can do that if I want, but that wont be easy.

Tubbo's mind clouded with frustration, he wants to give up on Tommy, but at the same time, he doesn't. Even if he's determined to let go, he knows that it will affect him, and not only him, but also the both of them.

"What is this feeling?" Tubbo asked himself, as he felt bits of nostalgia corner his mind. "Why do I feel like.. I've experienced this before? Like I faced it, but now I have to face it again.."

"Am I getting déjà vu..?"