Glued

Shattered

Tommy's eyes widened.

As soon as those bitter words escaped Tubbo's mouth, he regretted letting his mind speak for him, letting it say all his thoughts freely.

Pain and regret filled the void of his heart. He felt like a stranger to Tubbo now that he asked that, a stranger who's no one to Tubbo.

Who am I really?

Tommy questioned himself. He tried recalling the words from his mother carefully, but he couldn't focus on what he was thinking.

"...Who are you?"

Those 3 words echoed across his mind and won't seem to vanish, it felt like it was stuck there forever. His mind was a  never-ending maze, there was no way out.

He could feel the grips of their friendship, crumbling apart yet still tries to maintain it's shape.

One wrong move ends it all. If he fucks up this time, it's all over. Tommy was overwhelmed on how much he can do to turn the situation around and how he can end it anytime, he was so fucking scared to let his mind speak for him again. He got anxiety shivers to the thought of making another mistake, fucking everything up even more. He was scared to talk a single word again, he feared that it would just come out unexpectedly, he couldn't fucking control it.

"Tubbo-" Tommy got cut off unexpectedly, "Tubbo I'm Tommy.." he forced out.

Uncomfortable silence came in.

Tommy can only hear the loud thunder and the breathing from Tubbo's mic. Normally their calls would be full of screaming, swearing, and telling each other about their days, how's it been and what they did. It would mostly be the two of them who are always in calls. Everyone saw how close the two we're, wishing they had a relationship just like that. The two teenagers we're lucky to have each other as best friends, both we're lucky to be friends after years.

Now their friendship is on the edge, nearly falling. It was swinging side to side as the surface waited for it to fall. But Tommy still tried pulling it back up, he doesn't want everything to end like this.

Glued up, sometimes it's too much, I'm fucked up and clueless..

Tubbo wiped his tears dry, "You're lying." his voiced pitched up, "Tommy doesn't act like what you're doing."

Tommy took deep breaths as he griped the sheets beside him tightly, dragging it closer to his body.

"But- I am Tommy.."

"Well, if you're Tommy then- then why- why would you act like this to me? You promised not to, remember that?" Tubbo responded quickly as his voice started getting raspy and deep.

"Tubbo I'm just- I'm mad."

"Mad about what?" Tubbo asked quickly in a sharp tone, "Mad about me getting a closer relationship with other fucking people? Mad about me and Ranboo being friends? Tommy what the hell? Can you just— let me be friends with people and not prevent me from being social?"

Tommy struggled to continue but he tried pushing the words out his tongue, "Toby I'm scared of losing you." he let out, "Is it bad that I just don't want our friendship to end after years? Is it bad that I don't want you to have a closer relationship with someone else, forgetting about me?"

"Tommy you just want me all to yourself."

Tommy fell silent as his mind was in denial about wanting Tubbo all to himself, but deep inside, he knew it was all true.