Got somebody to love...

Chapter 4

Shiva's pov

I looked at Anita who waited for my answer..
I know I have to tell this to someone and since she is the one I am having a conversation with I know it has to be her then..

I suddenly got up from the stairs and said

Shiva - main jata hu maine jo us din kiya ya uske baad bhi kiya wo galat tha infact bht galat..
Pr us din mandir main jo hua wo mujhse anjane main hua tha..
Haa maine sneha wale incident ke baad se yahi try kr rha tha ki raavi khud mujhe chod ke chali jai is liye bht kuch aisi harkat ki jisse baat uski izzat pe aa jai and mera yakeen kijiyea main baad main bht regret krta tha ye sab pr us waqt mujhe wahi cheese sahi rasta lgta tha..
Us din function main bhi main yahi cha rha tha ki kuch aisa bol du ya kr du ki usse mujhse nafrat ho jai usse is rishte se nafrat ho jai and issi liye .maine uska haat jhatka tha...
Asan Nhi hota ha kisi ke maan main jaan kr apne liye nafrat bharna khas krke unke maan main jinka aapko pta ho ki us insaan ne kabhi kisi se nafrat nhi ki ha..
Main jnta tha ki raavi ka dil kitna saaf ha ki usne aaj tk kisi se nafrat nhi ki ha , aur main ye bhi janta tha ki main wo pehle insaan honga jisse raavi nafrat kregi kyuki main aisa chatha hu..
Pr mandir main jo bhi hua wo main nhi chatha tha haa outcome wahi tha pr tarika ye ho ye maine socha nhi tha..
Us din bhi uske dosto ki baat suni thi maine.. Wo mujhe khe rhe the ki raavi ko bhag jana chaiyea shaadi chod ke..
Pta nhi Mujhe us din , us waqt kya ho gaya tha main itne gusse main aa gaya ki unki aisi giri hui baatein sun ke mera hath uth gaya unpe..
Aur jb raavi waha aai aur maine usse kaha ki uske dost kaise ha aur unki soch kitni ghatiya ha and usse meri baat ko samajha nhi , toh mere andar kuch aag sa phoot gaya aur mere muh se wo faltu ki betuki baatein nikal gai..
Main kabhi raavi ke character pe ungli nhi utha skta hu..
Wo kitni pure ha main jnata hu pr gusse aur dard ke aage mujhe kuch soojha hi nhi aur main bakwas krta gaya krta gaya... Main ek alag hi behoshi main tha aur hosh main bhi tb aaya jb mujhe raavi ka wo ek thappad pada..
Mujhe do min ke liye apni galti samajh aai thi aur main maafi bhi mangna chatha tha pr jb maine uski ankho mai wo nafrat dekhi jo main itne din se dekhna chatha tha mai peeche hat gaya aur Phir socha ki yahi ek sahi time ha is rishte se isse azad krne ka jo maine kr diya...

I turned towards Anita again and said

Main jnta hu ki maine bht badi galti kr di thi us din usse naa ROK ke aur usse bhi badi galti ki divorce ke papers bhejwa ke
Pr main kya krta , us waqt Mujhe ye nhi samajh aa rha tha ki ye sb cheez us pe kaise asar karegi main bas ye samajh rha tha ki main usse azad kr rha hu aur ye azadi hi usse chaiyea pr wakai main usse kya chaiyea tha ye toh maine pucha hi nhi tha kabhi..

Main itna in baato se effect ho gaya tha ki mujhse sapne bhi yahi aate the ki meri azadi se raavi bht khush ha.. Ki wo mujhe khe rhi ha ki wo hamesh se is rishte se azad hona hi chahti thi..

Maine apne dil ke darwaje itni zor se band kr diye the ki naa uske ansoo mujh tk Punch rhe the aur naa uski awaz...

Shaadi se pehle jaan ke main usse hurt krta tha pr wo hoti nhi thi kyuki wo choti choti baatein the , pr shaadi ke baad anjane main mai usse itna hurt krne laga and kb wo baatein badi ho gai thi pta hi nhi chala..

Chahe kidnapping wala mamla ho ya kangan wala main hamesh use hurt kiya tha..
Kidnapping ke waqt usse sach naa bata ke aur usse mujhe galat samajhne dene se lekar kangan ke waqt jane anjane main uska sauda kr ke..
Pr yakeen mami ye main us din uska sauda nhi krna chatha tha Mujhe laga tha ki agar main raavi ki dhamki dunga toh mami maan jaiyegi pr aisa hua nhi..
Uski ankhe main jo narazgi maine dekhi thi naa wo aaj bbi mujhe yaad ha , pr jaisa maine kaha main apne ego apne akad main itna tha ki sorry bolne ke bajai usse suna deta tha...
Hamare divorce ke waqt bhi main bas usse suna rha tha , zabardasti usse divorce papers pe sign le liye...
Mujhe aab samajh aa rha ha ki main galat tha sirf is baar nhi hamesha se..
Maine kabhi nhi socha ki mere ye SB krne ke karan logo ka uske taraf nazariya kaisa ho jaiyega..
Kabhi nhi socha ki wo hurt ho rhi ha..