Breathin' (Jerrie)

Chapter 1 - Back To The Past

Something's not right. I can feel it.

The dull ache that had been there for the past two hours had now grown into a much more painful stabbing feeling.

I placed down the water I'd been drinking, in hopes of fixing the ache, onto the coffee table in front of me. I rested my elbow on my knees and held my head in my hand, as my free one came up to my chest trying to relieve the pain. I took a deep breath but immediately let out a gasp as a sharp pain went through my chest.

What the hell is happening to me?

I moved the fallen pieces of hair out of my face when it began to flush. My hand dropped back onto my knee and started to tremble. A wave of dizziness and nausea hit me just as the sharp pain returned, only this time it stayed. Tears filled my eyes at the increase of hurt in my chest and soon rolled down my cheeks.

Is it my lungs? My heart?! It's the left side of my chest. Oh my god I'm having a heart attack. I'm going to die. I can't breathe.

Clutching my chest tighter, I reached onto the coffee table for my phone and dialled my mam.

Please pick up, please pick up, please pick up.

"Hello?" She picked up after a few rings, but between my gasping breaths and pained cries, I couldn't form any words. "Perrie? Are you okay?"

"M-mam!" I cried out, rolling off the sofa onto the floor.

"What's happening? Are you alright?" My sobs became louder when I heard the concern in my mother's voice. "Perrie?"

"I-I'm having a h-heart attack." I switched the phone to speaker and dropped it on the floor next to me. "I-I don't feel right."

"What are you on about?" My mam's voice sounded less concerned than it did moments ago. "Take a deep breath." I did as my mam told me and inhaled deeply, using my free hand to clutch my chest. "Now tell us what's going on."

"M-My chest ain't right. I think I'm having a heart attack." I explained in between gasps of breath. "I c-can't breathe mam."

"Don't be silly Perrie," Debbie sighed knowing her daughter is quite the worrier. "You've probably just got a bit of indigestion and working yourself up about it ain't helping."

"No I haven't, I'm dying." I tried to wipe away my tears, as the blurred vision was making me more nervous, but they came back just as quick. "W-What do I do?"

"Take a few deep breaths to calm yourself, have some Gaviscon and you'll be fine bub." Debs explains gently, trying to ease her daughter's anxiety. She is quite worried though, because she's never heard her sound this scared or upset.

"It w-won't work mam, it's my heart." The stabbing hadn't eased, I was beyond scared. I felt so out of control and out of touch with my body.

"Don't be silly pet. Do as I say and you'll be fine." She said with a semi-stern voice. She knows Perrie can be quite dramatic but this was a bit different.

I rolled over from my side and got onto my hands and knees to stare directly at the floor. I hung my head low, attempting to catch some sort of breath before unsteadily standing up. I stayed on the phone with my mam as she talked me through what to do. I ended up standing shakily in the kitchen with Hatchi running around my feet.

"You should start to feel better soon darlin. Make yourself a cuppa and sit on the settee until the Gaviscon kicks in." My mam instructed through the phone. I didn't think it would work, but I complied nonetheless.

"Okay." I took a deep breath before doing as she told, Hatchi chasing after me. "M-Mam I'm still really scared." I sank back into my sofa and closed my eyes, wincing at the tightness in my chest. My little pomeranian jumped onto my lap and I silently thanked him for keeping me grounded.