Breathin' (Jerrie)

Chapter 11 - Self-Medicate Pt II

A/N: Most of this chapter will be the interview, so sorry about that, but it's just building things for future chapters. I'll link the interview I used and I highly recommend watching it to understand the references, I've tweaked a couple things so that it goes with my story though. So yes, my fic is based on real events but nothing is 100%. Just clarifying (kinda obvs but still lol) 

"Alright, thank you Sam. Bye." I end the call with a big sigh. I stare out the huge windows in my flat, and look out into Canary Wharf whilst biting my lip.

I just got off the phone with our manager, Sam, about today's interviews. Holiday just dropped and so we've got a few different zoom calls planned to help promote the song.

Don't get me wrong, I'm really excited as it's just confirmation that Little Mix is back, but I'm a bit worried because Perrie hasn't been answering her phone all morning and our interview is in like 15 minutes.

I was a bit confused earlier as to why Sam rang me. I assumed it was about todays schedule but she doesn't usually call me about it. She knows that an email is enough for me, unlike Perrie and Jesy who usually need a verbal walk-through to calm their worries.

She went through the specifics for the interviews just before she revealed the truth behind the call. It was because Perrie has been MIA for the last few days and we all failed to notice.

Sam expressed her concerns for the other Geordie and I couldn't help but spill what Perrie had said in London. I felt a bit guilty for telling Sam, but I knew Perrie wouldn't have minded. I briefly explained to her that Perrie has just been a bit stressed about coming back and is working through it. I assured her that the blonde was okay, even if there was a weird part of my brain that wanted to disagree, and after her worries disappeared, she returned back to her manager role with a warning that Perrie better be on the zoom call.

"What's up Jay?" I feel my boyfriend sit down behind me on the sofa, wrapping his arms around my waist. "Who was on the phone? You seem tense."

"It were just Sam asking about Perrie, that's all." I dismiss, leaning back into him.

I still don't want to reveal too much to him. I'm a very guarded person and don't trust too easily, especially when it comes to other peoples problems.

"Mmkay." He murmurs into my neck, kissing the skin there. "And how are you feeling today?"

"Honestly?" He squeezes me, signalling for me to continue. "Just really fucking tired."

My mental health has been quite bad all throughout lockdown. Stress about the world we're living in, my mam's health, Perrie, and coming back to work are all the sources of it. It's caused not just my insomnia to flare up, but also my bad eating habits. I won't eat for a couple of days, then I'll feel guilty for 'relapsing' and binge eat everything for a week. It's really running me down.

"How long do you think you'll be on for?" Jordan queried softly.

"Not too long hopefully, couple hours max." That's the one thing I like about these zoom calls. They don't take a whole day away from you. There's no need for travel or prep, it's just in and out. "I just can't wait to wash me hair."

"I mean, I didn't wanna say anything but..." He responds with a kiss on my cheek. I can't help but feel a bit taken aback by what he just said. There was no playfulness or amusement in his voice. I mean I get I haven't washed my hair, but just something about the way he said it is really bothering me.

"Oookay..." I decide not to say anything about it though. I don't need anymore added stress especially right before I start work. "Uh, I should probably get online now..." I trail off, hoping he'll get the hint to leave the room, and thankfully he does.