Love, Romance And A Boy (bxb)

Part Ten

Part Ten

•••

Scott and I have kissed more than twice, and it's becoming a disturbing habit. It's not that I can't control how I feel; he makes me numb, unable to move. I only have myself to blame.

I regret it with every fiber of my being. I regret it because he's Scott. But mostly, I regret it because of Jessica. She's my damn sister, and I keep making out with her boyfriend.

These thoughts haunt me as I walk through the woods, careful not to slip or twist my ankle. We keep our pace, never stopping.

Damn it, I wish I could say it wasn't consensual, that he forced himself on me. That would be a convenient excuse.

I sigh and look up. The sun is setting, casting pink and purple hues across the horizon. I inhale sharply. It's breathtaking.

I kissed him back with the same passion, the same desire. As much as I hate to admit it, I liked it. More than I should have.

Still feeling the tingling on my lips, I touch them with my hand. I want to do it again. I want to sin again.

And that's what's really tearing me apart. Everything would be so much simpler if I could just say that, looking back, I was disgusted. Revolted, even. But if I want to do it again, do I even really regret it?

I shake my head, trying to clear these unfiltered thoughts. I need a plan. If I can lie to him and make it sound like I didn't like it...

Anything to get my feet out of the mud.

Scott suddenly stops, turning to face me. He opens his mouth as if to speak, but no words come out. I can tell he's wrestling with something he wants to confess.

"Can you tell me how you feel?" he asks, his voice delicate and soft, as if he's afraid of hurting me. "Please," he adds desperately. "Because I never know how you feel."

"Yeah, you do," I reply, folding my arms tightly across my chest. "You know I don't like you, so I don't know what more you want me to say."

I hate saying this to him. It feels alien on my tongue. He steps closer, closing the distance between us, and I have to look up to meet his gaze.

Standing so close, I can feel his breath on my lips. "Well, in that case..." he trails off, leaning in to kiss me. And I almost let him.

Just as our lips touch, the image of my sister flashes in my mind, and I pull away. I can't...

"No," I say shakily. "We shouldn't."

Surprise flickers across Scott's face. "What?" he asks, running a hand through his hair.

"No," I repeat, more firmly. "This can't happen. It won't. I have to protect my sister. How can you not want to protect your own girlfriend?"

I'm startled by the hurt in his eyes. "Can I..." he chokes on his words, clearing his throat. "May I ask why not?"

"May I ask why not?" I echo, scoffing and shaking my head. "Dude, you're my sister's boyfriend. Does that not raise any red flags?"