𝙎𝙒𝙀𝙀𝙏𝙀𝙎𝙏 𝙎𝙈𝙄𝙇𝙀, 𝙤𝙘𝙚𝙖𝙣𝙨 𝙚𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩

𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘰𝘯𝘦

( tw : abuse & self harm )

it was a very gloomy day in new york city. there was hardly any sun poking through the thick clouds. you were walking to your favorite bar to escape your most recent argument with your parents. even though you had just turned 20, they still found it okay to fly on a plane to your apartment, only to complain how you don't do anything right and you needed to try harder. you wipe your tears and rub your nose, which happened to be red because of how cold it was. this bar was your favorite because your friend, who recently got a job there gave you drinks despite your age. you didn't even know the name of it, you and your friend just referred to it as "the bar." 

you finally reach the bar, and pull open the door. you make your way to the counter and practically collapse your head on it. you hear someone approach the counter and you assumed it was your friend, since she's almost always the only one working. the bar never really had that many customers. "beer me," you mumble into your arm. you hear the glass cling and the beer being poured into it. "id, please." a voice asks. you immediately shoot up. to your surprise, it wasn't your friend, it was a completely different woman. she was so beautiful. she had short blonde hair with the cutest little fringe, icy blue eyes, and an insane amount of rings on her hands. you open your mouth to say something, but all the words in your brain had gone away. she stood there, raising an eyebrow at you. words instantly come back. "i must've forgotten it at home," you say, clearing your throat. "really," she says, not believing you. "really. i do it all the time, i must be more careful," you say more assuringly. the woman places the beer in front of you. "or you could just be honest and tell me your age," she says, smirking. "i'm 21," you lie through your teeth. you take the beer and take a sip. the woman begins cleaning the other side of the counter. "so what is making you drink at," she pauses to look at her watch. "9:30 in the morning?" you crack a smile. "i didn't know it was that early," you say taking another drink. "my parents came into town last night only to harass me and tell me how much of a failure i've become," you state. your eyes drift down to the counter. "are you a failure?" she asks. this catches you off guard. you didn't expect this. you usually get the sympathetic, "i'm sorry," or something like that. "apparently being in college and getting a college level job is mandatory for success." you take another sip. "so you're in college and your parents expected you to have a college degree job?", the woman asks. "yup. totally reasonable," you respond. you take another sip. "which college do you go to?", the woman asks. you follow her actions. "went too," you correct. "i don't go anymore, i dropped out. i asked myself why should i be killing myself, little by little, to try and impress people who don't ever seem to be satisfied." the woman stops cleaning and looks up at you. she smiles at you and extends a ringed hand to you. "i'm lou. lou miller, aged disclosed, i'm the owner of this bar." she pauses. "what's your story?" you take her hand into yours and shake it. "i'm (y/n) (y/l/n), aged disclosed," you say with a smile. "i'm going to like you," lou says taking a bottle of tequila off the shelf and pointing it at you.

as the day progresses, you and lou sit at the bar talking and drinking for hours. "aha! you lose!" you shout, clinking your shot glass against lous. "drink up, blondie," you tease. lou rolls her eyes and takes a shot. "woo!" you yell, pouring more in her glass. "okay, okay, my turn," lou says, wiping her mouth. "what is your plan now?" you stop smiling and look at her. "what do you mean?" you ask. "i know that you dropped out of college," lou starts. "so what are you doing to pay the bills? what's your next step in life?" it grows quiet. "i- i don't know. you have a point though, i spent all my money on college.. i don't know what i'm going to do." you take your shot. "guess that counts as a fail." your eyes drift back down to the counter. your head racing, replaying numerous thoughts. if you asked your parents for help, they wouldn't give that to you. you'll just play further into the idea that you are a failure. "i have an idea," lou says, calling your attention back to her. your eyes meet hers. lou places a hand on yours. "come work here for me. i have a place you can stay too." your eyebrows raise. "you're just giving me a place to stay and a job, just like that? what if i'm an axe murderer?" lou smiles, licking her teeth. "what if i'm an axe murderer?" you bury your face in your hands. "don't say thatttt!" it, again, went silent. then you blurted out laughing. lou abruptly joins you.

by this time it was pitch dark outside. the clock inside the bar read 9:45. you and lou spent the whole day chatting, drinking, and eating peanuts kept in the bar. "i should probably get going," you say, standing up and stretching. "you drove?" lou asks laughing. "no! i walked!" you laugh. "it's too late for you to walk," lou says leaning back. you walk over to the door and open it. "byee" you say, beginning to walk. as you walk. you run into a tall blonde lady. "woah-ho-ho," you snort. "sorry." the woman stops you from walking away. "are you (y/n)?" she asks. "and who's asking?" you snap back, your hands on your hips. "i'm tammy, lou called me to come drive you both home." you stare at her. she stares back at you, raising her eyebrow. "god, you are so hammered," she whispers under her breath. you blink rapidly and gently touch tammy's nose. "boop," you laugh. tammy's eyes widen. you begin to hysterically laugh. "no, no, i don't need a ride. i'll be okay. goodnight," you say walking away. "hey, hey," lou says stumbling out of the bar. "come back please!" you turn around, now walking backwards. "bye, thank you for the great night!" you stumble over your feet, falling flat on your butt. you lay on the cold sidewalk, laughing non stop again. tammy and lou run over to you. "are you okay?" tammy asks lifting you up by your hand. your sleeve falls down, revealing series of old and fresh scars. you grab your sleeve and pull it down, hoping tammy didn't see. but she did. "c'mon," lou says, taking your arm and putting it around her shoulders. tammy does the same. they both escort you into tammy's nice car. you lay down in the backseat. "please don't murder me," you begin mumbling while you let your eyes slowly close to the lights of the street.