Let the Record Show

Charlie has a Breakdown

Saturday at 5. Saturday at 5. Saturday, Charlie repeated so he'd never, ever forget, at 5!

He was counting his steps now, each stair that led up to Science Bitch's apartment. Memorizing this time, this day, and this place so he could come here and get smart.

Despite his desire to be smarter, Charlie wished he was anywhere else (specifically the sewers) other than Science Bitch's apartment.

When he told the Gang about this, they all laughed at him. They were probably right, too. What was he thinking? Wasting a perfectly good Saturday at some nerd's apartment learning math he didn't need or words he can't read. Frank probably summed it up best: "What the hell you gotta be smarter for when you have us?"

Yet, Charlie held a nervous breath as he tapped on Science Bitches door. The little plaque reading '205' beside the door. For a moment Charlie hopped he had the wrong place. That there would be no answer and he could make his escape and meet up with Frank and Z.

After a when there was no answer, Charlie turned to leave. But, a familiar voice called through the door: "Come in!"

He hesitated, then did as told. Entering the apartment and awkwardly waiting by the door. It was...clean. But also pretty empty. A little table beside the door cluttered with things like keys and loose change, a couch, a coffee table stacked with papers, and some sparsely decorated shelves were the only thing Charlie could see from his tentative spot.

"Good evening Charles." Doc appeared from around the corner, where Charlie assumed a hall led to the rest of the tiny apartment. "Homework?"

Charlie handed over the unfinished illegible papers. They were something Science Bitch asked him to fill out; an 'ass-ass mint' or something. He struggled to work through the different questions, but at least Charlie was sure his name was spelled right (it wasn't). But, Doc kept his opinions to himself. No doubt wishing he turned Charlie away to enjoy his weekends doing better, smarter things.

Reluctantly, Charlie followed Science Bitch into the center of the apartment. Unsure where to sit or what to do. He felt completely out of place amongst the white walls and cool-toned furnishings. As if one wrong move could jeopardize any attempt to become smarter.

Science Bitch riffled through the papers with pursed lips, Charlie unsure if his expression was concern or disgust. Maybe both.

"Rome wasn't built in a day," he muttered with a forced smile. Charlie couldn't make heads or tails if it was condensing— no, wait that wasn't it. Condensing? Compressing? Conde-sending... Condescending!

"No, but it fell in one."

Science Bitch looked up in surprise. "Very good Charles! At least your history is there."

Charlie felt his confidence boost a little. He wasn't a complete moron— Mac's forced him to watch Gladiator and 300 too many times to count.

"I was thinking today we discuss basic mathematics. As I recall you had some difficulty there, yes?" Science Bitch tossed the papers onto his coffee table and clapped his hands together, looking to Charlie for approval.

A reluctant nod, though Charlie's eyes were on the ceiling now. Unlike his apartment, there were no mystery stains or leaky goo or mold. It was a crisp and perfect shade of white. Charlie thought it lacked personality.

Science Bitch rambled on, explaining numbers and multiplication principles. Studying Charlie with those beady, judgmental eyes. Finally, Charlie couldn't take it anymore.

"I can't do this, man!" Charlie screeched, hands balling into his hair in frustration. "This all sucks! I was happier when I was dumb and— and happy! Now I'm just dumb and miserable! I could be in the sewers right now, and I'm never going to be smart so why don't you just fail me and get it over with!"