Let the Record Show

You Opened This Can of Cats, Now Lie in It

The Incident

10:56 P.M.

Philadelphia Pennsylvania

Laying in the back of a foreign hybrid, Dennis poked at the lump forming at his hairline. It was hot and throbbed as the car began to move. Made worse by Charlie and Science Bitch arguing in the front seats.

"Drive!" Charlie screams, struggling to shrug his coat in the narrow space.

Science Bitch is already driving but stopped at a red light. "For God's sake, Charles! What did you do?"

"Me?!" Charlie shrieks then turns to point at Dennis in the back. "He tried to kill me! And he was going to kill you and Mac next! You should be thanking me!"

"Thanking you?" Science Bitch scoffs then repeats, "Thanking you?!"

"Yes!" Charlie insists.

Dennis groans and struggles to sit up as the two continue to fight. A car honks and Science Bitch hits the gas so hard it slams Dennis's head into the seat. Neither seems to care as he curses and whines.

"Don't scream at me!"

"I'm not screaming!" Charlie screamed back. "You're the one screaming!"

Dennis has no idea where they're going. They've passed the street that goes to Charlie's apartment, and Science Bitch lives on the other side of Philly. He suspects there is no destination in mind.

"What are we supposed to do with him now, Charles?"

"I don't know! Okay? We're playing it by ear. Wildcard baby!"

"I hate you," Dennis groans.

Charlie turned in his seat to warn, "Don't piss me off man."

"Fuck you."

There's shouting as Charlie lunges at Dennis through the narrow gap between the front seats. Dennis is slow to dodge but manages to flail and strike against Charlie's attempts to hold him by his bathrobe.

"Charles! Charles, stop it!" Science Bitch pulled him away with one hand, forcing Charlie back into his seat. "And put your seatbelt on!"

Begrudgingly, Charlie does as told. Dennis laughs at the absurdity of Charlie Kelly listening to someone rational. What a bitch.

"This is insane!" Doc returns his focus to the road, struggling to think and drive. "Absolutely insane! You do realize that, don't you Charles?"

Charlie pouts as he watches the blurring street lights outside.

"Oh my God..." Doc runs a hand over his jaw as he thinks. His mind is replaying tonight's events. All because Dennis groped him in his office. He should have left well enough alone! They should have gone to the police! Well, now he and Charles are equally guilty of a multitude of offenses. Kidnapping being the foremost troubling.

"Oh my God." He's repeating it again and again. The seriousness of their troubles is settling the further they drive. If anyone at the university found out about any of this, he'd lose his job. He'd have to leave Philadelphia, his colleagues, his home... and Charles. Doc's mind is racing as he lays on the gas, speeding onto the crowded streets and weaving through traffic.

"Doc?" Charlie looks over, studying the white knuckles wrapped around the leather steering wheel. "Shit, Doc. You alright?"

Doc shakes his head as he makes a sudden turn without a signal, cutting off another car. They honk but Doc doesn't slow down as he searches for an empty parking lot. They're too close to the university. Swarms of students are flooding the area to party at shitty bars across Philadelphia. There is no parking for miles, and it only adds to his growing panic.