High Tide // JJ Maybank

Chapter 17

"Babe, come on. We gotta go." JJ announces as he walks inside.

My head pounds as he slams things around the house. I bury my head under the pillow, drowning out the noise.

"Kat! This isn't a joke. Baby!"

I pull the pillow off my head. "You've given up on me, haven't you?"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Last night."

"Kat—"

"You didn't want to deal me, you made John B do it instead. You're done with me."

"Kat, last night was the first time I have felt like that in a long time."

"Happy?"

"I—"

"Say it, JJ."

"Yeah."

I shake my head angrily. "I knew it."

"Kat, these last few months have been hell. I just wanted a night to be myself. I needed a moment to breathe, to not worry about anything, or anyone, to worry about you. All I do is constantly worry about you because I don't want to lose you again."

"You already have."

"No."

"You don't want me. You sure as hell don't need me."

"No, Kat! You don't get to do that again. You will not shut me out!"

"Why?"

"Because I love you! Even if you're a little off, or mad, or sad or whatever is going on with you." He takes a deep breath. "Kat, I need you. I can't lose you, baby. Please." JJ begs.

"I'm fine, JJ."

"How am I supposed to know that? You've never drank like this before? God, you don't fucking smoke!"

"I needed to feel something else." I say honestly.

"What do you mean?"

"Ever since they died, I feel terrified. That could happen to any one of us because our lives are so fucked up."

"Kat, they're right outside."

"But they were dead, JJ! What if it was you?"

"Baby, I'm not going anywhere."

"Then why did you give up on me?"

"Kat, I could never do that. It's you and me til the end, baby. You're stuck with me. I love you, so much."

"JJ... please, just stop." I cry. "All I do is drag you down with me."

"Kat..."

"We need to take some space to ourselves."

JJ just shakes his head. I could see tears forming in the corners of his eyes. A ragged breath releases from his lips as he looks at me. "No."

"I'll see you outside." I stand up from the bed, moving to step past the boy.

JJ reaches out to grab my wrist. "Don't do this, Kat."

"Why not?" I demand.

"Because I said no. And you're still drunk." JJ raises his voice now.

"You don't get to make that choice for me!"

"You're right, I'm making it for us! Kat, for fucks sake! I almost lost you. Do you understand that? If I hadn't taken care of you, you could have died. God knows you weren't gonna get out of bed. You wouldn't eat, you wouldn't sleep. I did that. I took care of you!" I could tell JJ was only getting angrier by the second.

"Nobody forced you to do that." I inform him.

"Oh, fuck off, Katarina." JJ is no longer yelling. "I know you love me, alright? I know everything is so screwed up, things will get better. I know everyone says that, but I promise you, I'm not letting you go through this shit alone."

I nod at him, not saying anything.

"Kat?"

"I'm sorry, J. For everything. I know how hard this has been on you and I've been awful to you. I wouldn't have made it this far if you weren't here. I owe you everything."

"You don't owe me anything."

"JJ?"

"Yeah?"

"I don't wanna leave you." I felt tears prick at the corner of my eyes.

"Then don't." He begs.

I pull him toward me, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. "I won't."

"I love you, Kat."

"I love you too."

"We gotta go though, okay?" JJ says again. "Let's go." JJ scoops me up, carrying me bridal style until we get outside. He sets me down on the ground as John B and Sarah walk over to us.

"Is she okay?" John B asks JJ.

"Yeah, still a little drunk." JJ informs him. "She's okay."

"Are you?"

"We had a bit of an argument, but yeah. I'm good." JJ sighs. "Yeah, I'm good."

I look up at JJ. "I'm sorry." I apologize again.

"We'll talk about it later, okay?" JJ tells me. I nod, I knew now wasn't the time. And I needed to be completely sober.

JJ looks up as we hear the boat pulling in. He nods towards the boat and we all follow as he jogs down to the dock.

"Kie, don't tie it up."

"What?" Kie asks confused.

"We're gonna dip."

"Wait why?" Pope speaks up.

"What? What are you talking about?"

"Where'd you guys go? What happened last night?" John B questions the pair as he helps Sarah down the dock. All the running from the last couple days seemed to have aggravated her gunshot wound.

"We slept on the break. What's up?" Pope questions.

"Slept, right. Yeah." JJ teases as he climbs on the boat, he pats Pope on the shoulder. "We were up all night, well except Kat." JJ glances over at me.

I knew he was still mad at me about our argument. I sigh, looking away from him.

"We gotta get the hell out of here." John B says.

"Rafe knows we're here, so we have to leave, like, now." Sarah announces.

"What happened?" I ask John B. "What did I miss?"

"Rafe showed up last night. Shot at us. JJ almost got hit."

"What?" I panic, looking over at my boyfriend.

"He's fine. What's going on with you two?" John B asks.

"I messed up John B."

"We can talk about it later, okay? If you want to?" I nod at him. I wanted to tell my brother everything.