This cruel world [Levi Ackerman x Neko reader]

10.

After my breakdown in the dining room, everything changed. Now I had a group of people to fit into. Krista, Ymir, Mikasa, Armin and, surprisingly, Eren. He didn't strike me as someone very friendly, however, he took me in pretty easily.

I was surprised to hear they were all children and way younger than me, but we got along pretty well nevertheless.

I've decided to join Levi's side as before, slowly learning the way of paperwork, taking care of his tea time and training under his command.

I wasn't allowed to learn the art of blades just yet, but I didn't complain. I wanted to work on my mobility and self-defense. If I can not protect myself weaponless, there is no use in learning the blade - that was my logic.

Surprisingly, it was pretty fun learning all of that. Hanji took notice of my efforts to try out different things and she introduced me to the engineering team that took me in quite easily. It was fascinating to look at how ODM gear worked and was constructed. And so, I slowly got into the art of creating.

With each day a small fire in my chest grew bigger and bigger. I don't think I've ever felt this freedom of choice in my life. And I absolutely loved it. It was a new beginning, given to me by the survey corps, and for once I felt the need to repay it.

"Captain" I knocked on his door, asking for permission to enter.

"Come in."

I feel satisfied that he didn't even need to ask who it was - I was recognized immediately.

I open the door, protecting his hot cup of tea on a small delicate plate, and walked in, placing the it on Levi's table.

"It's time for your tea break, sir." I smiled, also putting yet another plate of cut up apples right beside.

"Right." Levi sighed, pulling back from a stack of papers on his desk, and gladly took a sip of tea.

I take the mountain of paperwork he stacked on the right side - those were the ones he was already done with - and started sorting them out by people they needed to be brought to.

We stayed in silence. Both of us barely talked to each other, but there was no need. He trusted me with this work, and I did whatever it was he needed. However, I did feel a slight unsettling feeling in my chest, wishing to know more about him more.

Unconsciously I put my hand on my head, remembering his touch from that night. My cheeks felt warm.

I shake my head, coming back to reality and continued sorting out the documents. I put small stickers on top of each pile, to help later, and wrote on the names they belonged to. My handwriting had become more pleasant after writing down so many reports for the engineering work, but it was still slightly childish compared to Levi's.

"Tomorrow we're going on the expedition."

I pick up the papers and face him.

"Have you made your decision?"

  "I won't be going this time, sir." his eyes sparked in satisfaction. "There is still too much for me to learn to be of any help on the battlefield."

"Very well." He nodded, taking another sip of tea and sighing, leaning back in his chair. Levi closed his eyes as shiny locks of black hair felt on his eyelids.

This was the side of Levi nobody else had the luxury of seeing. Relaxed, more human-like. The light coming in through the window emphasized his jawline and sharp face structure. Almost as if I was bewitched, I walked up to him, calmly brushing away the hair from his eyes with my fingers.

"What do you think you're doing?"

His words caught me off-guard. What am  I doing?

"I-I apologize, sir." I immediately bowed, my face burning up from heat.

A deep sigh could be heard. With much hesitation I looked up, expecting to see a strict look on his face, but captain hadn't moved an inch from his position and was still sitting there with his eyes closed.

I froze in place, not knowing what to do, when captain finally stood up, and calmly walked up to me. Our eyes locked together, we stood there in silence.

"The expedition might last up to a week or even a month." His words didn't match the strange atmosphere in the room.

"Y-yes?" His gaze was intense, making me stutter.

"When I get back-" His voice was as calm and husk as ever, but something felt different.

Is it another mission? Or is it about joining the survey corps.

"Stop shutting yourself away and call me Levi."  

Confusion. All I could feel was confusion.

Not knowing what to answer, I nod. Now that he mentions it, he did tell me to call him that many times, and yet every time I would go back to calling him sir or captain.

You're not a cadet, so call me Levi. Those were the words he'd often tell me. 

But what does he mean by the first part? Stop running away?

"You're free to go." Captain waved his hand for me to go away and turned around, breaking the tension between us.

"Ah- Yes, sir." I quickly bow, salute and go out of his office. After closing the door, I look down at the thick stack of papers I have in my hands. My face still feels warm from the overload of sudden emotions. I put my hand on my chest, processing what just had happened, but I simply can't make sense of it. "What was that about?.."

And just why is my heart beating so hard?