Perfect strangers

Chapter 25

Meredith woke up the next morning with a huge feeling of guilt weighing her down. She reached out and felt the cold sheets were Derek usually slept and the memories from last night came flooding back. Rolling over, she groaned as the ache in abdomen spread throughout her body but she ignored it and pushed herself up.

Slowly, she made her way downstairs and sighed to herself as she found Derek curled up on the couch with a frown on her face. Deciding she needed to make things better, she headed to the kitchen and began making him his usually cup of coffee before taking it into the living room. Placing it down on the table, she reached out and gently shook his shoulder to wake him.

"Derek." She said softly as she gave his shoulder another soft shake and watched as his eyes shot open. 

"Mer, what's up? Are you ok? Do you feel ok?" He immediately began questioning about her well being and it made her feel even worse.

"I'm fine, I mean I'm a bit achy but...I'm sorry." She said as sat next to him.

"Mer, I've told you it wasn't your fault." He reached out and placed his hand on her back.

"I'm not on about the miscarriage Derek, I mean about last night..."

"Oh." Derek sighed when the realisation hit him. "Don't worry about it, we both snapped and said things, we are going through a really tough time but we need to speak to each other..."

Meredith moved and passed him his coffee as he smiled her a thanks before taking a sip and then placing the mug back down.

"I just don't know how to deal with this, this is all new to me. For us. I mean, there is no books out there to tell you how to deal with a miscarriage." Meredith shrugged as she drew her feet up and tucked them under herself.

"I know." Derek leaned back and let his head hit the back of the couch before turning to face Meredith. "I love you, you know that right?"

"I've never doubted that you didn't." Meredith was the one that reached out and took his hand in hers. "I love you too, so much."

Their moment was interrupted by the knocking of the door which caused Derek to move forward and head towards the door. Meredith heard a mumbling of voices before she finally pushed herself up to go and find out who was there.

She stopped in her tracks as she saw Mark, Lexie and Noah sleeping peacefully in her arms.

"Hey Mer, Mark told me you was in the hospital, is everything ok? What happened?" Lexie stepped closer to Meredith and her eyes were immediately drawn to the sleeping baby. Her mind started running wild as she thought about their own baby sleeping in their arms.

"I...I just...I need to go." Then in flash, Meredith turned and disappeared leaving Lexie stood there shocked as she turned back to face Derek and Mark.

"I told her to leave Noah with someone but she didn't listen to me, she said it would cheer Meredith up to see him, I didn't tell her why she was in the hospital though..." Mark stated as Derek glared at him.

"Does someone want to tell me what's going on with my sister?" Lexie asked, anger in her voice.

"Lexie, maybe it's best if we go sit." Derek pointed towards the living room.

"No, don't pull that bullshit on me!" She exclaimed, bouncing Noah lightly as he started to stir in her arms. "Just tell me."

"Meredith had a miscarriage." It was the first time Derek had openly said to anyone that wasn't Meredith.

Lexies face dropped, the heartbreak being displayed perfectly of her face before she turned to Mark.

"You should have told me, I definitely wouldn't have brought Noah here if I knew." She reached up to slap him with her free hand but Mark was too quick and stopped.

"I tried to tell you but you didn't listen to me! Plus it wasn't my place to tell you what had happened!"

Derek stood back and watched as the couple argued between themselves as his eyes were drawn to Noah.

"Look guys." Derek shook his head. "We don't need this right now, I, we appreciate you coming but I think it would be best if you just went home. Try again in a few days, please."

Mark and Lexie left quietly, arguing between themselves as the door shut behind them. Everything in Derek's body was telling me to go check on Meredith but he was to overwhelmed and didn't know what to do. So he dragged his body over to the couch before collapsing down onto it where the tears began to stream freely. There was no stopping them this time, it was like the water works had been turned on and he truly cried for the first time since losing the baby.

"Derek..." Meredith's soft voice came from the door way causing Derek to sit up straight and wipe away his tears.

"Hey, you alright?" Derek asked as he plastered a fake smile on his face.

"Derek, you don't have to pretend that you are alright just for me, it's ok you know...if you cry." Meredith wrapped her arms around herself as she stepped forward into the room.

He opened his mouth to say another word but nothing came out and he gasped as the sobs took control of his body.

"Oh Derek." Meredith moved quickly and sat down beside him and took him into his arms. His head dropped to her lap as she ran her fingers through his hair knowing it offered him the most amount of comfort.

This was his time to truly get everything out, he hated crying in front of anyone but being here with Meredith, in her arms, it allowed him to truly show how he was feeling.

"Shh, it's ok, I've got you." Meredith whispered as she continued to run her fingers through his hair and massage his scalp.

His breathing slowly started evening out before he finally fell asleep, the exhaustion from the last few days consuming his body. Meredith refused to move as she didn't want to disturb him, so she sat there and let her own tears fall.

Why did this have to happen to them?