WRITTEN IN THE SCARS

Trouble's coming

Summary:
Miles is enjoying his collaboration with Arctic Monkeys and Alex, who is always in need of reassurances, decides to ask Miles to accompany him on tour; unfortunately Alex's request turns into a discussion that leads to an unexpected argument but the two men find a way to get over the awful moment.

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London, July 2026

It was a real delight living in London with Miles and Haylee and I was blissfully happy to have Miles playing in our record. He told us that he didn't want his name to show up because he wanted to go on being just a dad for some more time so James and I promised him not to mention his name in the credits, in the usual thanks or in the interviews that would follow the release, denying his collaboration if someone would have spilled the beans.

The first two weeks passed really quickly and rather smoothly; Miles was impeccable at the studio, Alfie was an amazing babysitter and Haylee never failed to make my heart burst with happiness by seeking my attention and visibly showing me that she enjoyed my company. Everything was going as I hoped for, except for the fact that Miles kept avoiding talking about the future and that he didn't seem interested to make love to me. Every night, before falling asleep, we talked about the amazing day we had spent and we made plans for the next one but we never talked about our future. We always ended up doing pleasurable things before falling asleep but, apparently, Miles didn't need anything more from me and I couldn't help but think that he was deliberately holding back, not intentioned to give himself to me completely. Was he doubting about this relationship and keep some kind of detachment just to make things less painful in case things would end?

"A penny for your thoughts," Matt said breaking abruptly into my thoughts as we were left alone for a while. I was leaning against a wall with my arms crossed, staring at Miles busy playing some parts with Nick and Jamie behind the glass and Matt had evidently noticed that I was pensive. "I hope you're not thinking about making other changes because the songs are perfect!"

"Do you think that it's gonna work as before between Miles and me? I mean... do you think that Miles is really in love with me the way he was when we were younger?"

"Al... what the fuck? Are you serious?"

"Am I laughing?"

"Alex... Miles came to London and he accepted to play as you asked! He looks happy every time he's next to you so why it's so difficult for you to relax, enjoy your relationship and be happy? I watched you during the past two weeks... the hugs, the innocent kisses, the way you steal glances at each other, the way he brushes his hand against your back just to have some contact... all these gestures don't lie about what you feel for each other! Miles loves you but well, now is 2026 and not 2007 so there's someone else that he loves more than you but I am afraid that you cannot compete with his daughter so set your mind at rest, Alex, because that will never change! You are his number two now but it doesn't mean that he doesn't love you and let me say that I don't like the fact that you're being paranoid as when we were in LA; did something happen?"

"The problem is that nothing is happening, if you know what I mean," I replied in a disheartened tone without averting my eyes from Miles.

"Oh... you mean nothing-nothing?" he murmured a little surprised.

"No, well, something happened and still happens but... not the big one, you know. And we're not even making plans for the future."

"I guess Miles this time wants to take it slow and enjoy some quality time together instead of fucking like animals every time you have the chance." Matt's tone was serious and it matched his serious expression making me feel bad because, honestly, he was right. "Sex has nothing to do with love and you know pretty well that you can have sex without being in love so who cares if you don't fuck! When I look at you, I see that you love each other and this what you want for you so... fuck, Alex... am I really talking to you like that? Like a fucking therapist or whatever?" A chuckle escaped his lips and I felt less guilty and stupid despite his previous words were true.