Starting Over (ITILMBBF Sequel)

Stay Away

When I find Chace, he's in his room with the door shut. It's a clear sign that he doesn't want to be disturbed, but I'm so freaked out that I need his company. I'd do anything for the reassurance of his arms wrapped around me and his comforting words. If Adam had become an unknown in my life, Chace is the safe, security I always craved. I need him now.

My knuckles rap on the door, letting him know I'm coming in, but I don't wait for his okay. Opening the door, I find him staring out the windows on the far side of his room, back to me. He's leaner than Adam, but taller so he's still a presence in any room. With board shoulders and sturdy legs, he's the picture of fitness, even from behind. It makes me wonder how many other girls there's been since he's left for college. The thought brings a stab to my chest, but he's so physically gorgeous that I'm sure there's been others willing to spend a night with him. With a face and body like that, he'd be remised not to used it to his advantage.

Without his beauty or the way the stiff stance of his back makes him appear large than life, I can't help but think I'd notice him regardless. I'd known him since we were kids and he means more to me than just a pretty face. It took me time to realize it, at the beginning of our romantic relationship, but it's the truth. I can fight it all I want for Adam's sake, but I love Chace. I seek him out for comfort, for longing, for fun. He's the one. I have to tell him.

"Chace."

He whips around to show me his distraught face and disheveled hair. It looks like he's ran his hands through it so many times that it's damp with his palms' natural oils. It's not unattractive, at least not to me, but the pained look on his face is giving me pause. Before I can tell him anything I need to make sure he's okay. I close the door quietly behind me before turning to face him head on. His face doesn't give anything away. It's twisted downward and pulled in, but it remains stern. There's no clear indication of where this is headed. I may not have been able to put out Adam's fire, but I promised myself that I will settle this one.

"What's wrong?"

"What's wrong?" he seethes.

That was more than I expect. Chace has never sounded so frustrated with me. We're not the epitome of healthy communication, but the underlying calm of his words were freaking me out. Usually, we're yellers. We set off like a fourth of July firework, burning bright and fast. We make our feelings known through grandiose displays and strained vocal chords. Eventually, we fall into bed and it's all forgotten, but that's been different since I got here and we've spent all that time together.

"I know my brother came in when we were... you know, but it's okay. He didn't see anything, he's not mad. We had other things to talk about in private. I'd let you know what they are, but it's really not a big deal. Just a sibling squabble."

I'm rambling. I want to disconnect from my body and shake myself. In the back of my head, there's a voice reminded me that it would be wise to know what his problem is before I throw random guesses out there. But things had been good between us, better than good, until Adam got home. Given that's a line I didn't want to cross again, I assumed Chace felt the same, which wasn't a negative. This was a problem we could easily work out. We had in the past.

"You think I'm mad that Adam caught us kissing?" His face twists in a sneer, "I could give a fuck less about Adam. We've been together, we've been apart, we've fucked right under Adam's nose. At this point, he knows we have feelings for each other."

I know I should be focusing on how angry Chace is, but my heart couldn't help but flutter at his confession. He has feelings for me still. Maybe all hope wasn't lost. I'd been determined to keep my distance because of Adam, but he'd made it clear the pair of us would let each other live our lives. With my feelings clear and Chace's caring statement hope surged through my body. This could work. And maybe as a couple, we could present a united front against Adam's drug abuse. Maybe everything would work out my way.