The Twisted Mind of Mordecai Phoenix

Me...

Heh, I have to say I am jealous. 

Born a bastard, a mistake, left to rot in the corrupt system. Abused by many in too many ways to count. Beaten down for being different, being crazy. 

 I can hear them now as I cried and they simply laughed. They moved on and I held on to the past. I lied there at night, crying for mercy as they molded my fate.

I was  just a child.....so lost.

 I made distance between us. I thought I was finally free, but they just followed. They mocked me where ever I went. The cuts, the bruises, the scars all so real, but they said they were fake.

All in my head....

Called names I never understood. No one ever explained anything. Once they found out the truth no one wanted me.

So young...I vanished into the cold night. The streets were my home. The darkness my blanket, the cold my ally. 

Even out there, I was found by them. Mocked, beaten, tortured, and they never left. New ones appeared and they were so much worse...

I wanted death, but I just too much of coward to die.

That's when the voices became more real. They grew names and faces and even  their own identiy.  At first i was so afraid for they yelled and screamed and hurt. They meant no harm at all. When the real world became to hard to bear one would take control and allow me to survive. Each voice protected me and helped me in different ways.

My guardians...

How thankful I am for them. My only real family is them for they are the only ones who love me.

Though, they were strong my body was weak. I could not defeat them. Even with my guardians, I lost. The last I saw was the darkness above, closing in as they ran away. The shadows above me, laughing, singing, mocking.

I was left alone...to vanish.

Awakened with a new face and identity. 

My guardians have grown stronger and so have I.

We all carry our own face, our own identity, our own body all within one.

Still, no one understands me or my world. 

So yes, I am jealous for not being like you......

Author's Note: Just something that popped into my head. It's a look inside Mordecai's mind of his world and life. A mixture of reality and fiction. If people truly like this I shall continue so please comment to let me know if I should write more of this.