Before Christmas

Seven

Louis POV

Deep breaths Louis, deep breaths. 

I'd just kissed my friend and housemate multiple times while we wanked each other off. That was not right. Oh shit, what have I done. I decided to keep myself in my room, once Harry had left the bathroom of course and I had gone in to clean myself up. 

I laid on my bed, staring at the ceiling for about three hours until Gemma knocked on my door and called me down for dinner. I felt terrible for not helping out with the cooking or setting the table but I couldn't face Harry right now.

I prepared myself and went into the dining room. Anne was sitting down and Robin was carrying in two drinks, Gemma setting a bottle of tomato sauce down in the middle of the table and Harry was sitting in his usual place, tipping vegetables onto his plate and determinedly not looking at me.

I sat down beside him, the place I'd sat every meal since I'd got here and started dinner, both of extremely quiet while we tried to focus on not bumping elbows while we cut our potatoes.

"You two are very quiet." Anne said, calling us out.

"I'm sorry, I'm just a bit tired. I might have to miss out movie night tonight and go straight to bed." I said.

"Of course love, that's fine, do you need anything?" Anne asked.

"No thanks Anne, I'm alright." I replied, smiling over at her.

Once everyone had finished I helped Gemma carry the dishes to the kitchen and wash up.

"Are you sure you're alright Louis? You look very anxious about something." Gemma said, watching my face.

"I'm alright, I promise. Goodnight." I said and I wished goodnight to Anne and Robin in the living room. Harry was sitting in the corner of the couch, playing with the strings of his hoodie but he didn't look up at me and I went upstairs, brushing my teeth and getting into bed.

I didn't actually want to go to sleep, it was only half past seven. I noticed another text from Eleanor and opened it.

Eleanor: Hey babe, how's your holidays going at your friends house? miss you xx

I thought about a reply for a bit before deciding with the truth, to some measures.

Louis: Honestly it's a bit stressful at the moment and I miss you too x

Eleanor: Want to talk about it?

Louis: Nah, I'll be fine El. It'll be pretty late for you now, you should go to sleep

Eleanor: Yeah, just wanted to say goodnight

Louis: Alright, love you x

Eleanor: I love you too xoxo

I switched off my phone and hid it under my pillow. I wasn't sure how I felt about Harry, the only thing I know is that it isn't platonic, especially after this afternoon. 

Then again, things were risky with Harry. I didn't know how he felt about me and it was scary to have these sort of feelings towards a boy. I also really didn't want to hurt Eleanor, I did love her.

After about two hours of tossing and turning and watching snow fall outside the window I eventually fell asleep.

---

Harry POV

Sitting through an awkward dinner with Louis was hard. I didn't want to look at him and see disgust or hate or anything else on his face that showed he hated me.

I kept my eyes on my plate and was glad when he went upstairs straight after dinner. My family and I watched Christmas Vacation and then I went up to my room without glancing over at Louis' closed door.

I leaned on the windowsill and watched the snow gently falling outside, if this kept up everything would be deep under snow tomorrow morning.

After watching the snow settling on the ground for about ten minutes I kicked off my sweatpants and pulled my hoodie off my head, getting into bed.

I had a text from Niall.

Niall: Hey Harold, how's Christmas going at the Styles house? 

Harry: Well Niall, I need to tell you something

Niall: Ooo what??? 

Harry: Well Louis' family was stuck in Paris so I invited him home with me for the holidays

Niall: Ok?

Harry: I sort of like him... Anyway this afternoon we played Fifa and we won a game and he kissed me, totally in the moment. All of a sudden we were kissing on the couch and wanking each other off.

Niall: Oh 

Harry: But then everyone came home and he hasn't looked at me since. I think he hates me now.

Niall: Aw H, I'm sure he doesn't hate you. Yeah he has a girlfriend but if he kissed you and then kissed you again then he probably didn't mind it. Who made the first move with the wanking?

Harry: Well, he did. But he's probably just missing Eleanor and he hasn't had any action in like two weeks. It was just two mates helping each other out but I like him so much

Niall: It's never just two mates helping each other out. Just talk to him Harry

Harry: Ok, thanks Niall

Niall: Night H, tell me how it goes

I turned off my phone and laid back in bed. Maybe I should talk to Louis. But I didn't want to face rejection. I liked him too much.

All these worrying thoughts chased each other around my head for hours until I fell asleep.