Before Christmas

Twenty-One

I woke up and my head hurt. I felt bad for sneaking out of the house the night before and going to the pub but I learnt more about Harry. Got the threat of anything happening with Aaron out of the way.

Now I think I have the strength to tell Eleanor. Zayn was right, it wasn't fair to me or her to keep this up.

First though, I would have a nice hot shower and breakfast and get myself some painkillers for this hangover. I went downstairs and found Harry eating a bowl of cereal in the kitchen.

"Morning Louis." he said, looking up from his phone.

"Morning." I replied with a grin, putting some bread in the toaster.

After breakfast and two tablets of Paracetamol I went into the bathroom and had a shower, shaving, washing my hair, brushing my teeth, basically taking as long as I could before I had to go out there and break up with Eleanor.

Finally when I re styled my hair for the fourth time I went out and met Harry going into his room.

"Hey Louis, do you want to watch a movie?" he asked.

"I'm sorry Harry but I have to call Eleanor." I replied.

"Right." Harry said, his face falling. He went into his room and shut the door. 

This is why I had to end it with Eleanor, so I could kiss that sad look off of Harry's face. Although I hadn't actually heard him say it, I knew Harry felt the same way as I did and he was just respecting mine and Eleanor's relationship.

I went into my room and closed the door, picking up my phone from my pillow and laying down, finding her contact and listening to the beeping once I'd pressed 'call'.

"Hey Louis, how are you?" she asked when she picked up after a few seconds.

"Um, well, I'm not sure." I replied.

"What's wrong? Please tell me Louis." she said and I could almost see that worried look on her face whenever I was upset about something.

"Ok, so, you know how I always say that sexuality is a very open thing and I think that labels are pointless?" I asked.

"Well, I believe that as long as you love whoever you love and be romantic with whoever you're attracted to then that's all that really matters. You know that before you I slept with girls, boys, anyone. I think that that was okay because I truly wanted to be with all those people and I was attracted to them." I said.

"Uh-huh." Eleanor added thoughtfully and I knew she was waiting for me to get to the point.

"And then you came along. And fuck did I fall in love with you. You're amazing, you helped me out of that messed up time in my life, you helped me get better at school and get into a great university, you had sex with me and it was beautiful, it was intimate, it was better than anything I'd ever done before. I didn't miss the alcohol, the one-night stands, the drugs, anything, because I had you and you were better than anything else. You were always on my mind, you turned me on with just a kiss on the cheek when you were looking more beautiful than ever, I was so madly in love with you." 

"Was?" Eleanor asked, her voice sounding sad.

"Here's the thing. Harry, fuck this is hard to say, Harry's always on my mind, he got me hard with a hug and I think, I think I love him. And I feel so shitty because I wasn't loyal to you, I've kissed him, multiple times, we even wanked each other off once. And it's made me feel disgusting but I love him and I always think that as long as you love someone like I love him then you should be with them." I said.

"So we're breaking up?" 

"C'mon El, even before all this we were drifting apart, going to different universities really affected our relationship. You can't say you didn't feel it." 

"I did feel it. And I don't hate you for cheating on me, I know what you're like, you feel your emotions and you loose control of your brain because your heart takes over. It was the same for me back when we were in high school, I remember how strong your love was for me back then. I'm going to need time to get over you because fuck I love you Louis, so much. And I know that you loved me and I'm just glad we got those three years together." Eleanor replied, she sniffed a few times between her words and I knew she was crying. Tears started to make my eyes sting as well and I blinked them away, feeling several fall down my cheeks.

"I still love you Eleanor, just not like a boyfriend should. I hope that we can still be friends because I don't want to lose you and I hope that you find someone that deserves you much more than me. And also, thank you, you really did change my life, and made it so much better."

"I really hope we can still be friends too." 

"What now?" I asked.

"Well I guess this is it. And, good luck with Harry, he's nice and I know he'll love you and I just want what's best for you." Eleanor replied.

After several more goodbyes I hung up.

I wiped my tears away. I was so happy, Eleanor doesn't hate me and I'm free to love Harry like I've been wanting to for so long. On Christmas morning I'd wake him up with a kiss and ask him to be my boyfriend and tell him everything.