For Forever | Treebros Oneshots

Just Hold Me...

TRIGGER WARNING: ATTEMPTED SU!C!DE

Evan looked below to the ground, the seemingly endless fields of grass spread out before him. The sun was setting, casting an orange and yellow glow over everything. It was truly a sight to behold, a small wonder in this horrible life. The evening summer air was accompanied by a soft breeze, rustling some of the nearby leaves on a branch. As Evan took it all in, he silently thought to himself,

This isn't such a bad place to die.

He shifted himself on the tree branch, and as he slowly stood, Evan focused not on the ground below, but kept his eyes firmly set on the blinding sun. He'd purposely picked the tallest tree to climb, not fulling knowing what would happen when he got to the top.

Evan shook off the lie. No. He'd knew exactly what would happen as he kept climbing, one foot after the other, one branch after another until there were no more that could hold his weight. And even then, he continued to climb, silently hoping one would break underneath him.

Evan was prepared to jump. There was nothing left for him here. He took a shaky breath and prepared himself. Evan closed his eyes, the setting sun still bright from behind his closed lids. There were a number of things he could have thought about in this moment, before he decided to end it all. How terrible his life was, how much of a struggle it was just to get out of bed each morning, how he could never escape every haunting thought that came into his mind at the slightest teasing or an unexplained look, how the world would be better without him in it.

But in the end, he simply thought of Connor.

And Evan smiled.

The one boy in his life who was just as broken as he, if not more so. He thought of his ocean blue eyes with their small sliver of brown that Evan had no trouble getting lost in. How one of Connor's smiles, rare as they were, could part the clouds and let the sun come streaming in. Connor Murphy was one person that brought him true happiness, and Evan did his best to provide the other boy with the same.

He couldn't leave Connor alone, could he?

No, he couldn't.

Because without Evan, Connor would have no one. And with the pressure of his father, life, and his own fucked up mind, Connor would no doubt be subjected to the same fate Evan was about to experience himself.

Evan ignored the tears silently falling down his face, and lowered himself back down so he was sitting on the branch once again. Leaning his head back against the trunk, he continued to cry. To let it all out.

All the pain, the heartache, the longing for escape that was wrapped up in this moment.

He nodded his head, not sure who was trying to convince it would be all right. The world or himself. Perhaps it was both.

Evan was about to make his way back to the ground, had begun reaching for the worn bark of the tree, when there was a cracking sound beneath him.

The branch broke.

The first thing Evan registered was the feeling of nothingness below him. The strange, bizarre, amazing feeling of being weightless. The next was the sound of wind rushing in his ears, a sure sign he was falling. And then, as he made one last effort to look at the sun, to feel the warmth of it on his face, he hit the ground.

A rush of pain in his left arm before it went numb, the air being forcefully taken from his body as if Life itself decided he was no longer worthy of it, and tears flooding his eyes all in an instant. As Evan lay there on the ground, struggling for air, Connor still consumed his thoughts.

He looked around, almost expecting to see the boy coming to get him. To tell him it would be okay and this was all a dream he would wake up from soon. But of course, that didn't happen. There was no Connor coming to save him, because Connor couldn't possibly know he was here. Evan had made sure of it.

It was this thought that spurred Evan into action, attempting to rise before realizing it was near impossible. His head was spinning and it hurt like hell, he probably had a concussion. He tried to move his good arm, reaching for his pocket as he felt around for his phone. Hands closing around the device, Evan pulled it out and quickly put in the password.

It was a struggle to punch in the numbers for Connor's cell phone, tears were blinding his vision on top of the massive headache he was currently experiencing. Finally, he managed, and held the phone up to his ear. The ringing sound was harsh as Evan waited to hear the voice he so desperately needed. The voice of the person who had, quite literally, saved his life.

"Evan?" Connor's worried voice flooded Evan's ear, and while this only set of his headache more, Evan couldn't feel more at peace.

"C-Connor-" he sobbed out, everything suddenly hitting him all in an instant.

"Evan?! Evan what's wrong? Where are you?!" he said, and Evan could hear the sound of jangling keys and a door opening and closing.

"The orchard, I-I..." He tried to get it out, but his throat closed up. Evan didn't know if he was ready to talk about what had just happened, and so he only told part of the truth. "I fell. Out of a tree."

"Are you hurt?"

"My arm. I th-think it's broken." Evan said, another rush of pain shooting through him before it went numb again. "And I'm pretty sure I have a concussion." he added as an afterthought.

"Okay, Evan listen to me. I'm going to hang up and call an ambulance. I will call back as soon as I'm done and I want you to stay on the phone with me until I get there okay? Don't stop talking to me."

"Okay." Evan managed, weakly.

And so that's what they did. Connor called back as promised, and Evan did his best to remain engaged in the conversation. To not slip into the waiting darkness that was beckoning to him in welcome. He waited on the ground until he saw a glimpse of a figure running towards him. Evan turned his head, pain shooting through him.

Connor.

Connor was running towards him, looking like an absolute mess. His hair was disheveled, tears streamed down his face, half pulled on hoodie hanging off his body. Evan smiled as he saw Connor lean down next to him, trying to get Evan to respond.

But he didn't. Because everything seemed to be moving in slow motion, the darkness was closing in on him, and Evan could no longer hold on. He felt a warmth encase his right hand, and he looked over once again to see Connor clutching it like a life line. His vision was blurring up again as he continued to smile up at the boy. The boy he loved.

A small fear shot through his heart as the darkness became more prominent. He would never get to tell Connor he loved him. But Evan soon released his worries as he realized the relief his body was offering him was only temporary. He would wake up. And he could explain everything to Connor then.

Evan felt his eyes begin to close, and he looked up into Connor's eyes once again. He clutched the taller boy's hand in his own, savoring this moment. Because the small moments mattered. Because you never knew when something like this could happen. Even if Evan was going to wake up, other's didn't.

And so he enjoyed the feeling of Connor's hand in his own, enjoyed it and took it with him as the darkness finally closed in. Relief flooded through him as he closed his eyes. And despite the situation, Evan was still smiling, even as he slipped into the abyss.

(Clarification: Evan wakes up, his arm broken, but he continues living on and has a happy life with Connor. They eventually get married and adopt three cats.)