the 1 | chaennie

11. The Story of Us

This is looking like a contest
Of who can act like they care less
But I liked it better when you were on my side The battle's in your hands now
But I would lay my armor down
If you say you'd rather love than fight
So many things that you wish I knew
But the story of us might be ending soon

Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room And we're not speaking
And I'm dying to know
Is it killing you like it's killing me?

Yeah, and I don't know what to say
Since the twist of fate, when it all broke down And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now

-

After that first week, they fell into an easy routine. Rosie wrote her songs and holed herself up in her apartment or the recording studio, Jennie spent nearly every day and most nights on set, and they stole moments together in the early hours of the morning, both of them fighting to stay awake as their eyes itched and they pumped themselves full of coffee just so that they could spend more precious, secret moments together.

It never felt hard, although it was frustrating a lot of the time, wanting to be around someone all the time, wanting to step outside in broad daylight and walk down the balmy streets while they soaked up the sunshine. Instead, they had to stick to shadows, both of them knowing that even a whisper could turn into a lavishly spun tale about them stepping out together. With the pressure put on Rosie to maintain her pristine public image, they couldn't even venture out at night to dark clubs with private rooms at the back, and so they spent most of their time going for late night drives to breathe in some fresh air, instead of staying cooped up in her apartment.

They'd drive all night, picking up coffee and roaming the streets while they listened to old tracks. Sometimes they'd find an abandoned place outside of the city limits to park the car, sitting in silence on the bonnet of the car while cool, dusty air swept in from the desert. They would hike up the rocky foothills and sit shoulder to shoulder on the sandy ground, amongst the scrub, looking up at the velvety sky as they counted stars and Rosie occasionally recited new lyrics. One time they found themselves up river, sitting on a bench along the wooden boardwalk, taking in the city lights on the other side of the rippling water, and Jennie had put her arm around Rosie's waist as if it had been the most natural thing in the world. It had taken her by surprise and she grew still for a moment before a smile broke out on her face and she pressed herself up more closely against Jennie's side. It was one of the small things they could allow themselves, under the cover of darkness, without a soul in sight.

By the time the sun rose again, Rosie would be back in her apartment, tired and happy, her eyes drooping shut and her lips slightly swollen from the urgent kisses they stole before dawn arrived and Jennie had to go again. It was a patient game of longing and waiting, made only more exciting because of it, constant texting and phone calls building the anticipation of their next secret encounter. Every time Rosie opened her door to Jennie, finding her standing there, all cozy in her sweatshirt and jeans, makeup half rubbed off and weariness about her, she felt her stomach drop as she was struck again by how infatuated with her she was. She couldn't help but be shy.

Despite the fact that she suddenly found herself dating Jennie, Rosie was still very much putting out the image that she was single, to the world and to her family, and although she felt guilty every time she lied and said she was enjoying her freedom whenever she spoke to her parents and her sister on the phone, it made things less complicated. She didn't tell Talia either, the person who had been her best friend since before she'd stepped into the limelight, not even when she flew to Texas one weekend to be her friend's date to the wedding of a guy Talia had dated in college. They stood at the back, Talia an uninvited guest and Rosie trying in vain to remain inconspicuous, and Rosie was so amused with the whole affair that she wrote a song about it on the flight back to Miami. She wrote a second one too, about Talia breaking up with that guy a few December's back, finding it to be a bittersweet story that fit the tone of her album perfectly.