The Seven Phases Of Marriage

20. A Compromise

22 May 2019

He blocked me again. I kept calling as usual.

I was hell-bent on showing him how much I loved him. I knew he's not the man for every girl out there. I was very sure of keeping him happy for the rest of our lives. The way he spoke to me like he never did to anyone gave me a ray of hope. I knew he was happy listening to my banter whenever he's free - It's just he never initiated.

He's not the man who would break a rule. He's the one who preferred a bright career, meaning not to have a girlfriend. I tried hard to break it, and he's pissed off about it. He would change someday.

03 June 2019

I hoped he would unblock again, but it never happened.

Why is he this stubborn? I'm not a bad girl. I am not asking for a casual relationship. Doesn't he realize I would wait for a lifetime if he said a simple 'Yes?'

I can't seem to control the unending tears cascading as soon as I become alone in my bedroom and switch the lights off.

I love darkness these days. It lets me be who I am without having to worry about who's watching.

04 November 2019

It is my birthday tomorrow. I mailed him, "It's my birthday. I wish to hear your voice first in the morning tomorrow. Please pick up my call... I will call you as soon as I wake up," fully knowing what's about to come.

He read my mail after about an hour, and his reply blew me away "You do not know what happiness is. If you did, you wouldn't be searching for it in others. So, no point in me picking up."

My eyes glistened with happiness noting two points

- He doesn't want me disappointed on my birthday, cannot break his rule list.

- He read my mail, meaning he didn't block me after my first mail.

That's what Sahil taught me. To remain strong and never lose hope. Days would turn, and he would change since my love for him is genuine and pure.

05 November 2019

I called him that day from a different number on my birthday, and he took the call "Hello"......."Hello"........."Hello." I kept silent, enjoying his voice even if it was for mere seconds. He didn't call back, and I was sure he knew it was me.

He re-read my emails almost 5-6 times that day, probably to take his revenge for crossing limits, but nothing happened. I was content he didn't do anything.

2020

💜It's not wrong to love someone who doesn't love you back. But, Ignoring the person who loves you the most is a sin.

I wish to remember this advice of Amma for a lifetime. I wish to never hurt someone who truly loves me.💜

25 January 2020

It's his birthday that day. I sent him a voice mail about my intentions. I proposed to him and made my decision of wishing to marry him and spend the rest of my life with him clear. I informed him about how I spoke to my parents too about the same. He read the mail, and I was content. As a birthday present, I drew him a sketch expressing my love for him.

08 March 2020

It's been 441 days of me calling him......

I texted him being very angry after thinking he unblocked me for three days and blocked me again. Those three days gave me hope which was poorly shaken.